some bedbug aftermath pictures

i know you're dying for this:


The Comet mess - you can see the ring that's around where the bed goes when it's on the floor - plus the ring around the walls. Better to be vigilant than bedbug food!


Shawn after a re-arrange of our stuff last night (just compacting it more into the middle of the room ... still not fully unpacking until we're SURE these things are gone)... As his boss might say he looks "worse for wear."

And now, the moment you've been waiting for ... pictures of my bedbug bite scars, which will probably get better, but yikes. Toward the end I had flipped in the bed, and then slept on Shawn's bed - both putting my feet in the line of fire and getting them closer to the g-d bugs. So here are some shots of my feet, taken today, on top of my desk (nice, right?) ... teleseminar notes in the background.


Right foot - usually bedbugs will bite in rows of 3 - "breakfast, lunch and dinner." These suckers (literally) like me so much it looks like they did "breakfast, lunch, dinner, and two midnight snacks" !!!


Left foot - so gross, and yes, I know a pedicure or pumice stone or SOMETHING would do wonders for me, but I'm working with what I've got... I'm going to try to get a haircut this weekend, just do little things that need to be done that will make me feel better/improve my appearance now that my skin is returning to normal (arms are almost completely spot free, or at least the spots don't look anything like the ones on my feet, which are the "newer" bites, just about 2 weeks old).

on with the show I guess. ~Mari.

i wanna be the lady he...

loves with all his heart and soul.

(cowboys aren't MY weakness, but i cannot tell you HOW MUCH i love that trisha song ... how much i love ALL trisha songs)

in addition to being National Blog Post Month (NaBloPoMo - see right rail), it's also NaJoMo (National Journal Month) - although this picture that I found online looks like "ojomo" ... so who knows. I just LOVE the typewriter keys ... and it's still the same concept 'one a day for 30 days' ... so far so good, although this is just post six.

the air mattress patch held and i got a relatively good night's sleep. we're going to try to book a room at the Waldorf with our wedding gift from my coworkers for the weekend ... we'll see how that goes. hopefully the economy tanking means empty rooms. will be nice to sleep in a big fancy bed and snuggle in, sleep in and probably even watch a giant TV (the TV at Frank's spoiled me, not to mention he has an actual comfy chair instead of just our hard backed kitchen chairs). So fingers crossed.

Webcamming last night was good. I had to take a phone call during it, and usually he doesn't pay me any mind. But while I was talking, I hear "MARI. MARI. MARI." Sweet little Owen Max trying to get my attention. He just wanted to talk. Silly bubba. How I love him. Maybe he should have his TV privileges banned every time Auntie M wants to webcam!

More posting later I'm sure. ~Mari.

Edit: It's November Journaling Month and the "n" in the picture above is just really small/can't see it well over the keys. Meh.

Dress for a Wedding

Oh I am BAD... Shawn will think I'm nutso, but I'd been eyeing this dress, as I have TWO weddings this month ... and I'm so excited about them. Anyway, it went on sale - HALF PRICE. (we're talking $22 here, people) With shipping it's still under $30. I've got some comfy purple shoes to wear with it.

And if it's chilly I can wear tights, and I have a wrap, although I probably should go with something a different shade of purple - I have a lavender one that's from London...who knows where it is. Will ponder that a bit.

Anyway, it's frivilous (I have plenty of clothes and could have worn one of the dresses I already have), especially given the current hit we're taking financially with the g-d bedbug crisis of 08. BUT I'm not going to beat myself up about it. IF it doesn't look so cute, I'll return it... But here's hoping it DOES look cute, and then I'm set for a happy wedding and holiday season with this dress (I'm sure there will be a Christmas party to attend ... and believe me, I'll never wear a sweater to one of those things again!)

Much love and feeling fine, webcamming tonight with Owen Jay mine.

~mari

POP goes the weasel...

and POP goes our air mattress too. I guess when it rains, it pours. we're now going to have to start thinking about what we do for a temporary bed until we feel comfortable buying a new mattress (don't want to bring it into the apartment until we're 100% sure the buggies are gone). So far so good, I mean we haven't seen any bugs and I haven't got any new bites.

the picture of our stuff was taken before the first extermination. the pile is considerably smaller now - we tossed probably 6 more bags worth of stuff, and now we've stuffed a few bags into our closets to make room for the (now deflated) air mattress. but things are still a mess, don't know WHERE anything is. (anyone seen my crochet hook? KIDDING - i know where the important things are, and that is an important thing to me!)

i'm SO over this.

crazy dreams - running in a park with Owen and then Aunt Norma Lee spraying us with a hose. Subway rides with Owen and Beth, yelling at Shawn for buying $125 worth of air mattress patches instead of just buying a nice new air mattress... My psyche is fragile, to say the least.

i need to take more pictures - i finally bought new batteries (because who knows where my battery charger/spare batteries for the camera are). Shawn found his cell phone charger, thankfully. it was with his shaver.

enough for now. started this post at 9 am or something (and that's what will show up on the publish time) but am not "publishing" it until after 11 am - shows how dis-jointed i really am.

~M.

closing reflections on 08 election

...looks like it's done. not a surprise.

the kids are going NUTS outside - hooting and hollering and honking horns. Shawn and I are old fogeys ... he just said "do they really have to make that much racket?"

and this was my choice (obama i mean). i'm not a vocal supporter of anything, and i didn't volunteer or endorse, but i did vote and figure i might as well go on the record as having "chosen" the winner, although it didn't make any difference in New York.

but i feel sorry for the losers. not sorry enough that i wish they'd won, but just ... it sucks to lose. especially when you've worked so hard, and no one can deny that both sides worked ... things just worked out the way they did.

and knowing how disappointed the people i love most are feeling ... makes it bittersweet.

MAN someone has an air horn, now fireworks. i hope they settle down soon... i've got a comet ring to sleep in!

Another Reason NYC Blows

Gothamist: "I Voted" and...Didn't Even Get a Sticker:

"Feeling cheated because you didn't get your 'I Voted' sticker? We called up the Board of Elections to check in on this very important situation, and they told us they don't think New York City has ever handed out the little badges of civic duty. When's the last time you received one?"

Yeah - so I voted. Civic duty, check. Not that in the national election NY makes a big difference - a forgone conclusion that it's all blue all the time ... you can tell that just by walking down the street. I haven't seen a single McCain pin or sign. I DID see a tourist in a McCain hat. He was old though, so I doubt he'd get hassled, or maybe I don't know - New Yorkers. Bah!

Voting was OK - the voting booths use LEVERS. I'm not kidding, it was a machine from the 1800s, or at least based on technology from that era. WTF?! And McCain and Obama were listed in more than one column - not just as D and R, but as "Working Families" party and "Social Justice" party or something. In the local elections, several of the candidates were listed as BOTH R and D! I can understand how people could be confused, as I surely was. But whatever, it's over, and I cast my vote.

Went to the dentist and had a cavity filled. It would be $300 to get a new retainer, which I desperately need. I've been wearing this one for 10 years every night and it's pretty gross. And the dentist also said he would remove my wire behind my bottom teeth and give me a bottom retainer. How great would it be to have a completely empty mouth?! But I just can't justify it when we've got so many expenses with the bedbugs. The dentist is going to get an estimate from our insurance and let me know how much they would pay, if any. The cavity filling was $250 itself, although they then send it to the insurance who would send me a reimbursement check IF they cover any part of it...

I'm so drowsy and ... ugh. Sleeping on an air mattress is no fun. I am still taking Benadryl to help me go to sleep. I am to the point where I don't care if I have trouble weaning off of it. Because I know I can tackle that... And I am still allergicly reacting to the old bites, and it's fair enough to help me get sleep. But I need more. So tired.

Miss home. ~Mari.

i hit the highway...

in a pink RV with stars on the ceiling...not that i've driven in a month of Sundays - like literally since May. hrm.

successful night - sleeping on the air mattress with the ring of comet and ring of double sided tape. NO NEW BITES! yeay! and we didn't see new bugs.

it's election day - hey, hey. wonder if the text messages from Barack will stop now. not that i mind i guess ... but whatever.

have to have a cavity filled - it's my second cavity ever. the last one was a year ago. both were very small, so not a huge deal, but i apparently don't floss properly (even though i do it EVERY night) and brush too hard. meh.

Shawn has lost his cell phone charger. Where could it be? In a plastic bag somewhere in the apartment. And there are a LOT of plastic bags.

the lines are going to be LOOONG today to vote, but i'm going to go this afternoon, after the dentist. will take my iPod and a book... should be good times.

~M.

Horoscope: Here's One

You could make it all look easy today, but inside you are probably stressing more than usual. These are difficult times, for you are being pulled in opposite directions and neither option is perfect. Ultimately, you'll need to stop the analysis and just make a choice. Remember, it's usually best to choose love over fear.

Guess what? I CHOOSE LOVE - over my fear of bedbugs. Because REALLY, I could do my job from Oklahoma if I really had to ... but I'm in it to win it, for the long haul and we're going to survive this ... TOGETHER.

But good lord, I wish it were just O-V-E-R.

blurgh. ~M.

the hunger

waiting for shawn before we go face the apartment. i'm starving. the time change always whacks out my eating schedule. i'm also cold - which is NOT the norm for me.

i have absolutely nothing of interest to say or write. i'm still feeling sorry for myself and generally irritable and grouchy. i just want to go home - and i feel like i don't have one.

m.

333: the easy silence

if i had been thinking i could have made each NaBloPoMo post labeled with a song title. whatever's in my head, or i could have done all dixie chicks or trisha or pearl jam or something. whatever.

this is my three hundred and thirty third post on this blog. i have been posting on my anonymous blog for ... like 8 years. i don't even know how many posts i have there, and if you counted the stuff i did in high school, which i coded and hosted myself on tripod. well i'm quite the prolific writer, although most of it isn't worth reading!

chronicle of my morning - phantom itching on my fingers, so SO SO scared that i had brought bugs into Frank's apartment (last night was our last night there). but i'm praying that it was just remnant bites and reactions.

went to the dermatologist - carrying my 15 pound computer bag (maybe not that heavy but feels like it). he said to use 100% DEET bugspray to keep them from biting me. so that's one thing. i'm also going to do a last round of prednisone, which will stop any last reactions...or something.

he told me to buy the spray at a sporting goods store at 19th and Broadway (the derm is at 15th btwn 1st and 2nd Aves, about a 15 min walk from our building). So I walked to 19th and Broadway - the store is actually at 18th & B'way. It's 9:30 and the store doesn't open until 10. But there's a starbucks so I go get a coffee and set up my laptop to get morning email.

Wireless internet works for about 3 minutes, then nothing. My wireless card disappears and I can't access the network at all. UGH. So now I'm lugging around a 15 pound brick (although to be fair I could still work on PowerPoint or offline tasks, of which there are plenty).

By this time it was almost 10 and there was LINE to get into the sporting good store. I waited to get in, found the DEET spray and bought three different bottles of three different kinds. In addition to our double sided tape and comet moat around the air mattress I shouldn't be getting any more bites even if the extermination didn't fully kill all the bugs (and if it didn't we'll just make them come back!)... So I'm feeling pretty good. AND I'm going to stay away from bed-bugger.com and the Yahoo! "support" group that just makes me feel like there's NO HOPE whatsoever. Maybe I can keep this good feeling going.

After the DEET purchase I walk all the way down B'way/University to 4th Ave (so 14 blocks, give or take) to Faye's on the Square to try to get hard wired access (it's the university network, and Shawn has registered my computer). Of COURSE all the students are taking up the spaces (most without laptops, just blocking the outlets and internet jacks), so I'm forced to seek refuge in Shawn's office for access. That's where I am now, but we're about to get lunch and then I'll go to either Starbucks (Shawn fixed my wireless card - some update he had installed caused it to screw up - isn't he a DOLL?!) or the university library if I can connect directly into their system... SUCKS being a refugee, but it's only temporary.

Keeping my chin up as best I can. More later. Today may be a two-poster day.

~M.

they didn't have you...

where i come from. never knew the best was yet to come.

still refugees in our friend Frank's apartment. tomorrow the exterminators come again and hopefully we can be back in our own apartment (on an air mattress, but still) tomorrow night.

i went looking for the Yahoo! online support group for bedbug sufferers. BIG MISTAKE. full of doom and gloom - nothing but negatives and how awful it is/you never fully get rid of them and are just destined for misery until you get rid of everything and move.

i'm trying to keep a positive outlook - i mean we've done EVERYTHING that the exterminators told us, and we've thrown out a LOT of stuff - all my yarn stash, both beds and lots of sheets and clothes. am probably going to toss my luggage, which i've had for just over a year - a nice purple set of bags. the biggest bag is salvageable - i never really used it and the middle sized bag protected it from the smallest one, which i used exclusively when i traveled to Alexandria and the shady motel I stayed in that may be responsible for our bedbug outbreak (unclear, but definitely a possibility).

I'm so worried about spreading the infestation - i mean, i don't think i could live with myself if they spread to Frank's apartment. i don't think it's happened - because i'm not getting bites and we've discovered how enticing i really am to these mother truckers. can they live in papers? inside books? what am i supposed to do? how can i get my sanity back? how can i stop crying when i think about it?

how can i be stronger?

i hope by the end of this month i'm not still writing/bemoaning the bedbug epidemic. all i want for my birthday is my life back!

~m

bright spot - someone who works on the same floor as shawn in the courant building and who also lives in our building had a bedbug outbreak recently, and he's still living here. shawn's going to talk to him and get some advice/find out this guy's experience. hopefully he has some good tips and can offer hope for overcoming this. if nothing else, shawn's applications for jobs start soon and maybe we can be out of this city in 6-8 months.

November - Day 1

Maybe the tricks are over. I don't know.

We DID leave the apartment - stayed at a motor lodge in Jersey City (could see the Empire State Bldg from our window - which was nice) - and worked there on Friday morning. Then we came back and hassled with the super, the management company, Shawn's department and everything. They could provide NO housing for us - no vacancies. And would not re-imburse us if we stayed at a hotel.

BUT I was sitting in our lobby looking pathetic when our friend (and Shawn's co-worker) Frank, who lives in our building, happened by and asked me what I was doing. When I explained what was going on, he offered to let us stay at his apartment. He has a studio, but he also has a girlfriend, Beth, with an AWESOME one bedroom on the UWS. He said he would stay with her and we could use his apartment for the weekend.

The exterminators came back on Friday and sprayed a bit more, and they're coming back on Monday to do another, more thorough fumigation. So we have to stay out of the apartment on Monday. Right now though, we're in the apartment, re-bagging some things that we had opened on Thursday night, throwing out some more stuff (we did have to get rid of Shawn's bed too - so once we get everything clean we're going to have a TON more space and no room for visitors...unless they want to sleep on the floor).

I'm also taking advantage of my work computer access and doing some of my task items now ... working on my laptop is SO slow. It's five+ years old, slow, old, heavy and a remnant of a past I'd rather forget, yeah? But with all the money we're going to shell out (and have been shelling out) on laundry, dry cleaning a mattress, etc. I think getting a new computer will have to wait - especially since my work computer is really good for everything I need to do. I still wish my work had given me a laptop, but a desktop is better for design work, which I do some small bits of from time to time. Meh. I guess I could always go Mac as a next step. Dur.

Day one of NaBloPoMo. So far so good, and somehow I don't think I'm going to be lacking in material. I can just re-live and re-hash and add details to this horrid horrid experience.

Shawn had an idea - use bed bugs as a weapon of mass destruction. They wouldn't kill our enemies, but they'd surely make them want to kill themselves.

We were talking to another of Shawn's colleagues last night in the lobby of the Courant building, and the doorman overheard us and said to use baby powder - that it dries them out and you don't have a problem within 3 hours. SOMEHOW I doubt it's that simple but after the exterminators come, you can bet I'll be dousing our floorboards and such with baby powder. Maybe it will even become part of my routine ... although it would be nice to have powder that's not scented like that.

Back to work stuff, then more sorting, drying shoes, etc. etc. etc.

Hating my life and this city more than I ever thought possible, but persevering. Prayers appreciated.

~Mari.

unreal

STILL bugs - they didn't do a thorough job, and we had to get rid of our second mattress too - which they left IN the treated room without treating ... meaning, we still have bed bugs, and the fact that we can SEE them means there are HORDES of them hiding.

I can't believe this. I don't know how I'm going to sleep. We have the air mattress blown up, but they will DEFINITELY be able to get to me - they're attracted to the carbon dioxide that I breathe.

I HATE our super - he lied to us saying that the bed/mattress had been disposed of, then we get in the apartment and have to haul it down ourselves (which is a violation ... and just spreading the bugs).

I HATE this company - AKA Bug Control or something. They haven't done their job -- half of the room was obviously not sprayed, the picture rail wasn't sprayed (and that seems to be where they're coming from now) and the baseboards weren't completely sprayed either. They also didn't get all the electrical outlets and none of them were removed as they were supposed to be. I can't believe how horrible I feel and that on top of everything else we have to fight for fair treatment.

I guess I'm bait tonight - but I wish we could just leave here and never come back. I hate New York and I hate the people we interact with here.

~Mari.

Possessions I've Lost So Far

• Queen mattress & box spring
• Full size mattress & box spring
• Queen size feather mattress topper
• Queen size down comforter
• Lamp
• Broom
• Vacuum
• Three Ikea rugs
• Several pillows

Will update...

starbucks in the morning

well - the exterminators will be at our apartment sometime today. i'm at starbucks - have internet here until at least 10:30 ... hopefully longer. after lunch i'm going to try the public library. having a lot of trouble accessing the shared drive at work ... but have to keep trying to get the poll data up on the site ... we're releasing it today at 10:30. hope my internet lasts until then. oiy.

i have a headache to beat all headaches and am just feeling generally dazed and sad and overwhelmed. we should be able to get back in to the apartment tonight and start arranging and unpacking. we're going to put the bed in a different place and will have more room without the queen size bed!

i don't think i'll ever be comfortable in the apartment again - not entirely. and i still have to live, sleep and work there. i'm going to ... i don't know, go even more bonkers than i am? we'll see.

good news - my skin is getting better. my arms look almost normal. my feet and legs are still scratched up and scarred - those are the most recent places i have been bitten (because i flipped around on the bed one night and then when we slept on shawn's bed while my bed was still in the room our feet were pointed toward my bed ... so i got more bites on my feet and ankles.

i cannot WAIT to be flying out of here for the Thanksgiving wedding extravaganza weekend.

OH, today i've known Shawn for FOUR YEARS... and it's our five month wedding anniversary. so there's that.

more later i'm sure.

~M.

would you rather?

instead of bed bugs i would rather

• relive summer 2003 and the unbearable heartbreak and pain
• vomiting - any type of sickness
• sinus infection
• pounding head ache (which I also have)
  
• go six months without going home ... i might even stretch that to a year this is so miserable

i could continue...

last night we stumbled across a shoot of LIPSTICK JUNGLE! What's UP?! HA.

anyway, we saw Brooke Shields and the girl who plays Victory Ford (Lindsay Price) ... they looked so pretty and made up and YOUNG. Brooke looks way better in person than on TV, I must say. They were filming at The Bitter End (or outside of it). Shawn was all "Where's Nico?" because yeah, I make him watch horrible girly TV. Apparently the show is moving from Wednesdays to Fridays, meaning it will probably be canceled shortly thereafter. It's a REALLY bad show, as in, the main reason I watch it is to make fun of it, but there you go.

Time to close up shop and wrap it up before we go out, get some food and head to the last night in our temporary quarters.

Dear God - please let the exterminators' treatment work and my skin get better. Amen.

~Mari.

should i give up?

or should i just keep chasin' pavements?

that song makes no sense - well the lyrics don't. as a song it makes sense as it STICKS IN MY HEAD. huzzah.

the good:

• all clothes are washed and bagged, save for a few i'm going to wear the next few days.
• we've got temporary quarters, courtesy of university visiting faculty housing (apparently we're staying where guest lecturers stay) - we can stay until noon on Thursday
• exterminators are coming on Thursday between 10 and 1 - so i can't go back to the apartment until 5 at the earliest... meaning an interesting day for work - probably going to look into the NYC public library ... blugh. at least i can leave my luggage with my doorman OR at Shawn's work - depending on how i feel.
  

the bad:

• slept on shawn's bed last night and STILL got new bites, especially on my feet
• got my bed moved out (which is a good, but so so so sad)
• there's no ROOM to move here - with all the stuff piled up in the middle of the room - and supposed to keep everything, including furniture, THREE FEET from the walls. with our tiny tiny studio apartment that is nearly impossible.
• i've worked all day - on real work stuff and the laundry (NINE HOURS PEOPLE) - and i'm so exhausted.
• i didn't sleep well last night - shawn's bed is smaller, not to mention KNOWING bugs are going to be feasting on your flesh. ICK. i hope we can get some sleep tonight.
• all of my stuff is in bags - and it's piled up and who knows how much i'll break or what will get contaminated.

i pray that the exterminators are successful and that the bugs are no more. i don't think i can bear it. if i continue to break out ...

can't wait to get out of this city, because really, where else but New York would this happen to me?

~M.

Seriously?! Uzi's Don't Mix With Kids!

Eight-year-old shoots self with Uzi, dies - CNN.com:

"WESTFIELD, Massachusetts (AP) -- An 8-year-old boy died after accidentally shooting himself in the head while firing an Uzi submachine gun under adult supervision at a gun fair.

The boy lost control of the weapon while firing it Sunday at the Machine Gun Shoot and Firearms Expo at the Westfield Sportsman's Club, Police Lt. Lawrence Valliere said."

Mass-holes...

One way to look at it is this - at least I'm not mourning an avoidable, preventable death. That and I can still breathe.

~M.

a slow death

i am dying a slow death

of itch

of unbelievable overwhelmingness

every single item shawn and i own must be bagged

i must trash my mattress, which i bought when i moved to MD for grad school - expensive and less than 5 years old. required Sage's help to move it - so i guess OK to let go of memories since she hates me anyway - maybe karma from her?

then they'll come and spray/treat the apartment.

then we have to wash every single item before we can use it/reintroduce it to the room (although all the bagged items will still be in the room, seeing as how we live in one single room).

i have cried more today than i have in a long time. i can't believe it. NINE weeks of vampire bugs sucking my blood.

and i KNOW that it happens regardless of how clean you keep your house/apartment. i KNOW it's a result of this city - the outbreaks are bad everywhere and don't discriminate by income see

• www.nytimes.com/2005/11/27/nyregion/27bugs.html
• www.nytimes.com/2006/10/15/realestate/15cov.html

but my very first household as a wife. i can't help but feel like a failure. i'm being overly dramatic - i can't help it, my chest is pounding and i'm crying nonstop. so weak and stupid.

i'm dying a slow death - but at least i'll kill the bed bugs first.

mari.

fall back?

Shawn found some bugs on the bed - between the bed/wall or something. He vacuumed them up, and we've stripped the bed, the exterminators are coming on Monday for an inspection ... and I'm still itchy. SO I don't know. It seems to indicate the bugs are to blame, but I don't know why I can't just get un-itchy. I really wish I could have gone away this weekend. Looking forward even MORE to our week in Oklahoma.

STUPID automatic alarm clock automatically fell back - even though Congress changing the fall back time/extending daylight savings ... whatever. At least I figured it out before work tomorrow, when I would have been off an entire hour - in the wrong way. Dur. NEXT week we fall back, mk?

~mari.

write myself a letter

Gearing up to do NaBloPoMo - national blog post month, which is November. Going to try to post something every day for thirty days. Won't be exceptional journalism, but hopefully something. Twitter doesn't count? Hrm.

Shawn was up most of the night with a stomach bug. I'm hopeful that it was just food borne - I'm not sick yet. Knock on wood. He went to a work reception yesterday afternoon and that is hopefully the source of his illness. Of course he got sick in the bathroom at the event we went to last night, leading to a hasty retreat, but hopefully no harm done. He's resting now and trying to re-hydrate.

BIGGEST BUMMER - no finite element circus for me. I was SO looking forward to getting the heck out of dodge and away from this apartment - hoping for some skin relief or something. But not to be. I could still go - Shawn may actually trek up there to give a talk tomorrow, depending on how he feels. BUT if I'm going to get sick I'd rather be sick here than there, so there's that. SHIZA.

Doctor called me back last night during the event and left a message - all blood work is clear. So stop the steriods and do a repeat biopsy. I need to call back and ask about allergy tests. Also the chiropractor suggested looking at liver function. WTF ever. I'm so over this but SO not as the itching and scabbing and grossness is at a new level. UGH.

dream a little dream of me.