silvermari & the stick

I watched Angels Sing, a Hallmark movie with Willie Nelson as Santa. No one prepared me for its sad themes. It was good, and I liked that the main character is a professor named Walker! And they lived in Austin! Maybe someday. I also really liked the singing, especially "Christmastime is Here." Wonder if there's a soundtrack. (LOL.)

I cooked all day yesterday and a bit today. We had a huge meal, the five of us -- Shawn, Jane, his parents and me. Here was the menu:
Pineapple cream cheese & pecan cheese ball/dip with crackersPigs in a blanket (li'l smokies wrapped in crescent rolls)Honey hamDressing (no turkey, and I made this WAY too dry/used too much cornbread)Corn casseroleGreen bean casseroleParker house rolls (from scratch -- I think this is the last time for those, even though they are scrumptious)Deviled eggs (which FROZE in the top part of the fridge)Broccoli, mushroom and onion salad (probably not making again -- it's good, but requires too many herbs s…

I'm not sure if Jane is still a toddler at three, so maybe stuffing a preschooler stocking would be more accurate. I just wanted to list some of the things I have ready for her stocking this week (part of the ~30 pounds of gifts we brought on our trip that we'll have to bring back).
Imagine Ink mess free marker book ... OK, technically there isn't one of these in her stocking. But I did give her one for the trip (and she's used a couple others on our long road trips of late). These are a little expensive (about $6), but I've found them for $3 in the Target "dollar" spot. Amazon might be the place to go. Jane doesn't do the games yet, but she likes to see the color appear as she marks up every single page. It really keeps her still and focused for chunks of time. Might be a good church book. If only I could find more Imagine Ink books to use up all the markets we have now...Color books and new crayons -- actually the books won't fit in her stocking,…

Amidst the Christmas cheer and glad tidings of great joy I harbor confusion and crankiness.

I'm not sure I'm "doing Christmas" right. Not reverently enough. Not enough attention to Advent. Not even fully understanding Advent.

Christ already came, died and was resurrected. Shouldn't we be "Easter people" all the time?

In my attempts to do everything "right," for Jane, myself, our family, I wander ... or something. Trying to mold church tradition into my limited understanding and general doubts. Turning it over in my mind without it making any sense.

Shawn had to remind me that it's really about waiting for the second coming after I expressed my unease with this repetitive calendar cycle when nothing really changes. I know I'm approaching Christmas in the wrong way. And it makes me anxious.

Will I ever "get it"? There are sparks of clarity that are fleeting. My soul does cry out for Jesus -- come, Lord Jesus, come, even wh…

Made for a friend's baby girl due in January. I am going to take a break from crocheting, at least through the end of this year. It's one of my favorite things though, so I know I won't stay away for long. I already have yarn to make myself a hat (treat yo' self and whatnot).

Yesterday my Gran died. She was 90 years old and tired of being bedridden. She was at home with her family. I don't know what to do except write about it while I cry.

She's the underlying hum in all my faith stories and a leading figure in my religion, a shining example of constant faith.

I grew up just two blocks from her house, so she and my grandfather were a constant in my childhood from regular sleepovers, shopping trips and just being together. I learned to crochet from her fingers, I think she taught me the summer I was 16 and helped my grandpa take care of her after she had a fall and broken bones. Working with yarn is fun on its face but it's also always connected me to her.

Gran was not just part of my history but also a part of my weekly routine and life now. I would call her two or three times a week, usually in the afternoons when her helper had gone home but before her supper was delivered. She could chat and listen to whatever was on my mind and heart. I&#…

Incredible, amazing, I love it. H/T my cousin Lisa.

I am kind of a Grinch about Christmas Christmas, I think. We don't "do" Santa at our house. It's just not my tradition or something I feel the need to do. The miracle of Christmas is far greater than a funny, magical character.

But this year it is hard to be different.

Jane is three, so an age where she is putting things together and excited about Santa. It doesn't help that he's shoved down her throat at every turn. From strangers asking her "What did you ask Santy Claus for?" (and receiving a blank look until I translated "What do you want for Christmas?") to a visit from Santa during our church's Advent Festival (Advent and Santa do not compute).

At the festival, too, the single craft for kids was "Reindeer Food," a brown bag that you filled with oats, glitter (which I hate for non-Grinchy reasons), sprinkles, etc. and then they stapled on a poem about sprinkling the mess on the lawn so the reindeer see your house and San…

Today I was at the Sunrise Senior Living Center holiday market. If you stopped by my booth and are checking out my website, welcome!

Thursday, December 4, is the Jingle Mingle at Jane's preschool. So I'm going to have a crochet hat booth. I'm excited and nervous. I have 47 hats ready.

I also have another sale for Saturday at a retirement community, so I've also made four thread starched ornaments. I'd like to make more, but we'll see about time and how long it takes these first four to dry. I don't expect every hat to sell tomorrow, but I might be running low for Saturday and need to spend all day Friday crocheting. Good thing I like crochet.

If you're visiting my site after seeing my work at the Jingle Mingle, welcome! If you'd like to order a custom hat, see my Want to Order a Crochet Hat? post for details on what measurements I need. I can probably still make a few hats before Christmas, so contact me if you have that deadline.