90 is Not Enough

November 30, 2014
Yesterday my Gran died. She was 90 years old and tired of being bedridden. She was at home with her family. I don't know what to do except write about it while I cry.

She's the underlying hum in all my faith stories and a leading figure in my religion, a shining example of constant faith.

I grew up just two blocks from her house, so she and my grandfather were a constant in my childhood from regular sleepovers, shopping trips and just being together. I learned to crochet from her fingers, I think she taught me the summer I was 16 and helped my grandpa take care of her after she had a fall and broken bones. Working with yarn is fun on its face but it's also always connected me to her.

Gran was not just part of my history but also a part of my weekly routine and life now. I would call her two or three times a week, usually in the afternoons when her helper had gone home but before her supper was delivered. She could chat and listen to whatever was on my mind and heart. I'm already feeling adrift without those calls or the possibility of them. And oh, how she loved Jane. Jane loves her too, and navigating this conversation with her is possibly the hardest part for me.

Gran was a teacher with a 30+ year career. So she touched countless lives through her classroom and interactions with children. Her work in her church, from Sunday school teacher to church board secretary and beyond, was critical to its functioning. And these are only the things I, as a child in her life, know about. I know her life was rich and full of love.

I selfishly would have liked more time. But I know she has moved on, that she was ready to go to the Lord. And I pray that her reward for a life so well lived is more than she ever dreamed of. I miss her so much and am so grateful she loved me.


Sydney said...

Mari, this is a beautiful tribute to Gran. I thought 76 was too young for my mom to die and it made me wonder if there is a number high enough that it's a good time to say goodbye.

eperry1982 said...

I love you Mari!

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