27 January 2009

Bee Positive

i wrote the title for this post, then i did a Google image search - thought i'd get a nice fat bumble bee picture or something... but turns out there's a T-shirt design "Bee Positive" - you can get it at WrongTees apparently.

we all know i'm not the most optimistic person. i wouldn't say i'm unhappy, but i tend to look on the dark side more than the bright. i also have a tendency to be real snippy - even to strangers.

when we went to see Gran Torino this weekend (and AGAIN i'll recommend it) - i got really huffy with a Staples employee when we stopped in to replace my ink cartridge. all because she wouldn't give me the $3 rebate for my old one. they've given it to me in the past, but maybe their policy has changed. i just kept the old cartridge and went on, but not before acting completely insane and pouty. i mean, come on!

then on the way out of the movie, we were going out the exit. this theater blocks off its exits - and makes people go around the corner to enter the building. someone walked up to me while i was exiting and i stood in her way like i was throwing a block in football - and then she side stepped me and i pulled my left (bad) foot behind me and tried to CLOSE THE DOOR ON HER. what kind of person does this? i wasn't fast enough/she was too fast and got around me and in the out door, but come on. why do i have to have these knee jerk reactions that cause me to be a visible *itch to folks?

could it be that NYC has seeped into me? no, since i've been this way long before i moved here. also, i can be a charmer. i really know i can. and i can make fabulous impressions on strangers - i don't have to be the snarly crank pot that i sometimes unleash on the world.

i want a positive outlook. i don't want to let things get to me - either things from strangers OR from people i know, including work related hassles that i don't handle well. and being removed from people doesn't give me opportunity to interact and really improve my relational skills. so i don't know if working from home does more harm than good.

but i'll always always always be, the GRETCH, unfortunately.

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