08 June 2009

Marriage Thoughts

bellsKeep Up With Me, a regular on my RSS feeder for its author's social media tips, DC-area life and writing style, wrote a post Marriage? I Could Take It or Leave It. (”Leave It” Sounds Pretty Good.) This section in particular made me think and hurt my heart:
I want to be with someone who’s with me because they want to be, not because they feel like they have to be. When two unmarried people live together, they’re making the choice to be together every day. They’re not staying together just because they happened to make a vow at some point (that 50% of people who get married end up breaking anyway). I don’t want someone to feel like they have to stay with me if they’d rather not be there.
I left a comment, but I still feel like this is disparaging to married women and that my comment didn't fully express my opinion and disappointment in the implication.

As a married woman, I choose to live with my husband and be together every day, just like the author says two unmarried people who live together do. I'm left with this kind of ache in my heart for the state of things and that I would get up in arms about this at all, even momentarily.

But I also recognize everyone is entitled to their opinions and no one knows my marriage other than Shawn and me. But just like any relationship, marriages are unique, and I think what I take most issue with is the broad generalization of marriage as a bad decision. But I am also sure that wasn't the intent behind the post.

Moving on.

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