|Clean, milk-fed baby: nothing better!|
The past couple weeks I've read the year-end wrap ups and forward looking posts on my favorite blogs.
I didn't write as much in 2011 as I did in previous years, mostly because the biggest thing to write about -- pregnancy -- was something I chose not to write about. So with less content my statistics went down and a year end wrap up about stats isn't very interesting anyway.
Other blogs did posts listing their favorite posts of the year or favorite photos. Again because the biggest part of my life in 2011 wasn't a topic on this blog it's not really worth it to me to wade through my year of posts to find anything I'd want to re-read or draw more attention to. (And all my Jane posts are recent, so to re-link to them would be slightly redundant?)
But one thing I do like is the "choose one word" meme for the year. It's like a theme word for 2012. And anti-resolution in a way. As I was driving today, and listening to Michael Buble while my daughter snoozed in the back seat, I thought about what my one word would be for 2012.
I'm choosing her. I'm loving her. And by extension I'm loving my family and husband. And myself.
Because these last couple weeks since Christmas I've been obsessing over what to do -- job-wise, childcare-wise, etc. I was obsessed, and anxious worrying and thinking I didn't deserve what I wanted, and it was impossible for me to say for sure what it is that I want.
Nothing is finalized yet, but I feel like I have a direction.
I choose my baby.
My baby who I didn't think I'd ever meet. Who I didn't think I'd be able to carry. Who I love more than I ever thought possible.
I can't promise more posts in 2012 than 2011, no matter what happens with my work status. But I can say that when I write it will be rooted in love, because I am more rooted in love thanks to the family we have extended through the birth of Jane.