23 January 2015

Vignettes of Annoyance

Pop Art image found on Google Images labeled for reuse
I am a very gripe-y, complainy person. To wit, some things I'd like to bitch about:

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I am a shit negotiator. As in, I don't negotiate at all. I guess I need William Shatner to help me ... I've agreed to a freelance job for nearly half my "normal" rate. Normal being what I've been paid on my last job, which is actually a lower hourly rate than some other project-based work I've done, although that was so lucrative it felt criminal to accept the agreed-to amount. (I did though. Oh, I did.) I don't want to feel cheated or like I have a reason to slack. I'm very rules-oriented, so I'll track my time and be above board on everything. But I'll always have this little niggling doubt asking -- what if you'd suggested a higher number, still lower than my top, instead of trusting that she was offering the best she could do. TERRIBLE biznass ladee, although I haven't actually signed a contract so I guess I could still just say "no thanks" to the project entirely. I won't do that though. My word is good. Hrmph.

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Similar rule following -- I get irrationally angry at the other parents in carpool. One guy had a tiny toddler plus his preschooler, both out of their carseats and climbing all over his car -- out of the sunroof, in his lap, on the gearshift, etc. And then he's driving up in the line in this chaos. So unsafe. And another big SUV mom creates her own line of cars next to the building, which is supposed to be kept clear, per the rules, and basically jumps ahead of everyone in the real line as well as leading a bunch of other cars to do the same. Why does that drive me crazy so much?!?!?!

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Chasing a wayward preschooler through the aisles of Winn Dixie makes me mad. I wish I could better channel my energies and upset when things like that happen. After the race, catching her and then dragging through the checkout process (because I needed the snacks for her preschool class the next day) I just seethe. I try to talk to her rationally later about how scary that is for me and why she can't do it, although I don't think anything sinks in. Really all I feel like doing is strapping her to my body or forcing her into a cart for the foreseeable future. Three-year-old parenting is the hardest so far for me and accounts for the majority of my annoyances, and I'm a highly annoyed and annoyable person.

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Windows 8 is the worst. I needed to use Skype, but the OS forced me to change my login to be an @outlook.com account. I had already created a mariwalker@ account back when they very first started offering them, but for some reason it isn't mine anymore. At least silvermari@ was still available, so I re-made that, but still so mad. And now I have a different password for my computer login, which was something loving and calming. Now it's full of rage at Microsoft. It's the worst. I think there's a workaround and I can undo the login back to regular and download a different Skype software to use. Hate. hate. hate.

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iTunes is the worst. I have to use it for my iPod, which is my main music listening device. I can connect it in the car or wear it with earphones while shopping or walking. But my music on my computer is ALL EFFED UP. Duplicates of song files crop up, so that I have four copies of every song in a single Dixie Chicks album but other songs and albums disappear. And iTunes moves files around, from the organized Music>Artist Name>Album Name structure to a separate Music subfolder within the original Music folder, and then iTunes can't find the songs it's moved around. It is so frustrating and makes me rage. As Daniel Tiger says "When you're feeling frustrated ... take a step back, and ask for help." SO I'm going to do some things myself but have Shawn do the real help of uninstalling iTunes and seeing if he can do a reinstall that does not screw up the file management system. AAAAH!

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