Saying No

Without a regular paying job I don't have a lot of out-of-the-house commitments. So it seems like when I'm asked to do something I should say yes, in part to get out of the house and also because why wouldn't I as long as I can figure out child care?

I said yes to a spiritual leadership academy simply because I was asked. It has turned into a pretty big commitment -- financially more than a $100 in the registration fee plus books for each author -- and time, since there are four "weekend" retreats that involve being away a Friday evening and most of a Saturday. And it's not even up my alley/something I'm that interested in. I said yes simply because I was asked. (In hindsight it wasn't even an exclusive ask/important that I attend like I was led to believe. There were plenty of other people who WANTED to be part of the academy and would have gladly taken my place.)

So I was asked (or rather told, obscurely in a mass email) to be part of a leadership workshop for my church, specifically about the church and its work (I think?). This actually IS up my alley, in that I try to keep the communications content channels flowing and their website from looking absolutely horrible. But because it was this weekend and next weekend is one of these weekend retreats I found myself able to say NO.

I didn't get any pushback (probably because it was such a bizarre mass email invite), but I still find myself feeling guilty and like I'm playing hooky from something I should be obligated to attend. (Doesn't help that they're posting multiple pictures and updates on Facebook ... when they usually don't touch social media much at all!)

I hope they can figure out some communications steps without me sticking my nose in and trying to run everything (because that's really what I end up trying to do). I never can get anything to happen though because of lack of feedback and lack of any authority, which is actually fine by me, but I'd rather not bother/get so involved and care about a project just to see it wither on the vine.

What a whine-bucket.