Great Haircut

The Pretty Good Hair Day
Captured on webcam

At church today at least three people, maybe more, commented on my hair -- great cut, looks great, etc. I have been cutting my hair off for a while, and this is the same general style. My last cut was in October. It's already growing out, which is good, because as per usual my cut was initially simultaneously too short and too long. (Mullet seems to be what stylists hear when I say I like it choppy and layered.)

Don't get me wrong - my hair looks great today. It is clean - washed and dried it last night (with my amazing Revlon brush dryer), smoothed it a bit this morning with the flat iron to make it a little less flippy (the round brush dryer gives a lot of body and flips the ends in the front, cute but I prefer straight ends).

But what's REALLY happening, and why people are commenting is that I've lost weight and my face is much slimmer. That makes my hair look better in general, based on our societal standards. The weight loss is intentional, after a weird injury to my right foot this summer. I was exercising regularly, and doing Fitness Blender workouts that included plenty of jumping. I also weighed a lot a lot, so the impact on my foot was astounding. The injury was a Morton's neuroma, so there wasn't an actual injury like I tore anything, just a nerve in my foot acted up to the point where I could hardly walk due to the pain. In the aftermath of that I've been trying to reduce weight in order to prevent anything like that happening again (it's a matter of time though). I stopped exercising in that way, and I honestly haven't picked up anything else other than a bit of light walking with a friend while our girls are in a class together. I love being strong and having cardiovascular endurance, so maybe I can find a way to get that with low impact. Or maybe if I can get my weight down enough I could jump again (can I be thin enough to exercise?!).

Part of it is a plan to be as healthy as possible for my 40th birthday (next Thanksgiving - the ACTUAL Thursday!). Part of it is just doing it, and the process to do better for my insulin resistance, keeping it from becoming anything worse. I'm working with a doctor, and she just seems all about losing weight. Her diet advice isn't that great or consistent (try keto! try intermittent fasting!). She sends me lots of videos to watch (and I haven't been really). I guess it's fine, but I wonder if I'll be able to maintain limiting my food intake. I still eat all kinds of things, including sugar on occasion. But I also know that DIETS FAIL and almost all weight that is lost is regained and then some.

For now I'll enjoy my "great hair" compliments. Even as it's getting greyer it does still have a lot of bounce. Maybe that describes me a bit too.

They Mean Well...

On Facebook, when I posted about my mermaid tail cake someone posted "#nailedit," which is a hashtag of things that are definitely NOT good, meaning you jokingly "nailed" it and in reality failed. At the party we laughed about it and she said I should really do a "#nailedit" post with my cake side-by-side with the professional photo I was trying to copy. I was really proud of the cake, so that hurt my feelings a little. (And if I made it again I could do it a lot better!) But here you go:

At church on Sunday I wore my hair down and curly, something I can do when it's A) clean and the weather is B) not hot and humid. (So those don't align too often.) The top is starting to get VERY grey and silvery. I spend some time thinking about whether to start dying or to just grey gracefully. (I've written about that before...)

ANYWAY (a different) someone asked me what was putting all that grey in my hair. I laughed and pointed to Liv and said "her and the other one." She laughed too, and I said something about thinking about dying my hair, not sure about it, whatever. She is an older lady with almost fully grey hair, and she laughed and said "OH NO! God doesn't make mistakes. He put that grey hair there for a reason." It was the weirdest thing. Like God would be opposed to me dying my hair? (As if!) Or my hair matters one way or another?

I don't know, it didn't sit well with me, and I've been thinking about it off and on. When my hair's pulled back in a pony or bun the grey isn't as noticeable (although it's definitely still there, and if I have a part it's visible no matter how the hair is behind it. My reasoning behind not dying my hair has nothing to do with thinking God made a mistake (or anything about God really). It's more about sheer laziness and cheapness, because good-looking colored hair takes time and money.

This is 36

In its short hair, filtered, no-makeup glory.

I had a rough night with chills and hot flashes. I feel some better this morning, but not great. I need to be healthy tomorrow to go to church. I'm reading the Scripture. D'oh.

I've lived away from Indiahoma as long as I lived there (approximately). I moved away when 18, and it's 18 years later. That includes living in Stillwater for school and coming home for summers. I guess it's not fully true until the same time I left, which would be next August. But the symmetry of 18 and 18 feels significant anyway.

We don't have plans today. Not sure if we'll do anything. I don't have a present to open, although Jane has been drawing me pictures and Shawn made me a card with pictures of the girls. I didn't even buy myself anything this year!

Edit to add: My mom DID leave me a present to open! I just didn't know it was there. xoxoxo

Phoning it in

I finally got a hair cut today -- just before I turn 36. My back is a little better, but I'm still pretty sick with my flu symptoms. I have aches and shift from chills to hot flashes. My head hasn't stopped hurting and I have a fever. Can't imagine how I'd be feeling if I weren't taking ibuprofen at every chance I can.

Thank goodness for the world's best husband picking up the slack. The house may be crumbing around us, because I was behind on cleaning anyway. I can't imagine getting out the Christmas stuff or dealing with that, but I hope when I feel physically better I will.

Ugh.

Make My Outsides Match My Insides

My face and left hand

Or vice versa?

I still feel terrible. I am not reeling any longer, and I can stand my ground.

My outsides match that internal upset. But I need to start something to keep myself together.

That means exercise. That means a hair cut (scheduled for this Friday). That *might* mean wearing makeup more often.

What else should it mean? More rest? (Once Liv and I are better that should come) More reading? More movies?

I've got to keep myself together. I do not want to feel "better" or OK with the situation, but I do want to be able to live my life and be ready for whatever comes our way.

What a Darling Boy ... Gender Norms in Dressing My Baby Daughter

One of the first reactions I had when learning we were having a daughter was a negative feeling about the bows and glitter and girly-ness of dressing her. (I was also terrified of the patriarchal system we brought her into, and that fear is more deeply rooted now in the start of her sixth year, but you know what I mean...)

My fears of "girlie" clothes have been pretty much unfounded, and I've found plenty of clothes I'm fine with Jane wearing. And she gets to choose what to wear from what I've bought and has been handed down to us. I help with appropriateness -- always shorts/leggings under dresses for school, always tennis shoes at school for safety and dressing for the weather -- and I probably "help" a little too much to get my favorite tops or pants worn. But Jane's learning to be confident in her style and clothes choices. (Her latest is Avengers, thanks to my mom -- and she wears her sparkly Captain America shield shirt at least once a week ... marketing geniuses, I tell ya.)

I didn't have the same "OMYGOD" reaction to finding out Livia is a girl. We'd been there, done that and were up to the challenge of doubling the fun (and stress) by raising two daughters. But her babyhood has been very different.

Where Jane had tons of hair and very early had to have hair clips to hold it back Livia came out with much less hair, some of it fell out and it's just now coming in. Technically it could hold a light hair bow or I could always make her wear a headband with a bow, but I reject that style in favor of her comfort!

But combined with her somewhat gender neutral baby clothes this means Livia is often mistaken for a boy.

I can only remember that happening once with Jane, and it was our first visit to the doctor's office after her birth. She was wearing gray sweatpants and a blue UC t-shirt. I'm pretty sure it didn't happen again, and not because I dressed her in pink or frills. I avoided those for a while. (Jane's love for pink and seeing how cute she looks in and how much she likes some frilly, sparkly things made me relent.)

Usually I don't correct strangers if they mistake Livia for a boy, just say thanks because it's usually a complement and move on. One of the guys who delivered Jane's bounce castle told Livia, "It'll be your first birthday before you know it, little man." (And I'm pretty sure she was wearing pink!)

But of course this last week I've been pissed at everything and everyone and will absolutely let anyone know "Oh, she's a girl." And it's grated me enough to write about it.

The default baby is a boy. Short hair equals boy, even when literally this hair is all that's ever grown on her head.

This is a quick take on something that's been on my mind, so it needs work and more thought. Filling up the NaBloPoMo challenge I've set for myself and keeping up that momentum. Over halfway there...

Grey Hair ... DO Care

When my sister was visiting in March (pre-baby), she took some pictures of me and Jane because the azaleas were blooming and Jane was dressed up for picture day.

This shot of the top of my head makes me CRINGE. Holy crap, that's a lot of grey hair!

The grey hairs are wiry and yucky. If I dyed them would they be smoother? More conditioned? Or just brown wiry hair?

At my last haircut the stylist suggested lowlights (I think?) -- something that would require little maintenance, since she's aware of how often I come for haircuts (i.e. 2-3 times per year). I'm not sure I'm willing to take on an increased maintenance schedule for my hair, and I know if I tried to dye it myself it would be a mess and ineffective.

What to do? What to do?

24-Hour Product Diary

I love the 24-Hour Product Diaries on Millihelen, an offshoot blog from Jezebel. Of course that blog is being closed so there will be no more diaries. I found some good recommendations via the blogs and it was fun to see such personal but helpful information from writers.

I wanted to write my own product diary and have had it on my "blog post idea" list, so here we go on the last day of NaBloPoMo! This is a fictional day because I don't wash my hair every day, and I wear make up even less often. I'll start my diary at night, since I shower before bed. I'm super lazy in the mornings! Sorry for no pictures -- that's how it goes with a fictional day!

10 p.m. - Wash hair with Chi Infra Shampoo and Conditioner, and while the conditioner sets wash body with Aveeno unscented body wash. When I was pregnant with Jane I was extra sensitive to scents and started using this. I've kept it up, aside from a travel size Bath & Body Works warm vanilla sugar body wash that sometimes sees the light of day or sometimes borrowing her Dr. Bronner's baby mild unscented soap. Shave with Intuition razor, the kind with the shave soap around the blade so you don't have to lather up separately. Wash face with Cerave Hydrating Facial Cleanser. Rinse, rinse, rinse.

10:10 p.m. - Comb hair and if going curly put in some Tigi Bedhead Manipulator with a pump of Organix vanilla serum (a tip I picked up from Millihelen!). If I'm blow drying straight I'd wash my hair/shower earlier to not have to blow dry so late. I use Chi Infra products for straightening. On my face I use Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizer "yellow stuff" and All About Eyes cream (my most expensive products). I also use a drop of Acure argan oil in my nose to ward off dry-ness. My mom turned me onto that and it really works. Even though I live in a humid place I still would get nose flakiness and pain but since I've been using this (maybe a year?) that is gone. Maybe I use some EOS lip balm and then hit the sheets. (If my skin is dry I'd use some Eucerin cream, but lately my skin has been OK without it ... also, I am totally lazy.)

7:15 a.m. - theoretically start putting on makeup. This would be about when I'd be getting ready for church, which is the day of the week I always wear make up. I use a BB cream (beauty balm or blemish balm, depending on who you ask) -- right now Garnier and I have a Cover Girl tube to use next just because I had a great CVS coupon. I put it on with a makeup wedge sponge. Then I use a Maybelline eyeliner and Cover Girl Lash Blast mascara (or whatever mascara I had a coupon for). Mascara is the make up I wear most often. I might use a little eye shadow -- basically whatever came free in the last Clinique bonus bag -- and I'd put it on after eyeliner but before mascara. I like lighter, neutral shadows. I also use a Cover Girl clear mascara on my eyebrows to tame them a little (they are wild and I only moderately pluck them). I rarely wear lipstick because I can't get used to the idea and think I look weird with it on, although seeing myself in a picture next to Jane and her cutie pie cherry lips I should maybe try to wear it sometimes!

I own a LOT more make up and hair products (sometimes I'd use a generic mousse to go curly but I'm trying out this new product combo for now), but this is what I've been using lately. All items are purchased by me (or my mom in the case of the argan oil). This is not a sponsored post!

Some Amazon affiliate links used. Using those links to make a purchase (even if not the linked product) should earn me a few cents at no cost to you. Thanks for supporting this blog! (I have never earned any affiliate money, but I keep linking because I find it helpful on other blogs.)

TIBTIL: Chi Shampoo & Conditioner

I first saw Chi Infra shampoo at Ross in Danville, but I knew I didn't want to weigh myself down with extra liquids on the flight back no matter how good the deal. I have loved the smell of Chi products for a while, since a couple haircuts ago when the stylist used Chi Iron Guard 44 and I was swept away by the smell. Since I knew I could find a deal on it and I needed new shampoo I thought I'd shop for it locally.

I first tried my Ross here, but they are a real run-down, ramshackle store with no real beauty section. Later I tried TJ Maxx and score, they had the shampoo and conditioner (called Chi Infra Treatment). Unfortunately they only had giant, 32-ounce containers, but they were only a couple dollars more than the much smaller 8-ounce containers you can find at CVS or Target. I was in a snit mood anyway, so I dropped the cash am loving the smell of my hair ever since.

I had been using Trader Joe's tea tree oil shampoo, which was OK but didn't keep my hair clean very long. And my hair does not do well being washed too often. This Chi stuff gives me several days of clean-enough hair and smells fantastic. Have I mentioned I love the crisp, clean smell?! I know it's just chemicals and just as bad for me as a floral or something but my nose knows and I love it. I wish there were a curly product -- like mousse -- so I could have my hair smell great no matter the style.

I also think I would like a Chi perfume. THAT's how much I love this smell.

Amazon affiliate links used throughout.

Haircuts and Page Views

I got a haircut yesterday -- reminiscent of shortest curl from Bumble & Bumble, but still not as good. Probably shorter than I was planning, if I even planned at all. It's so hard for me to talk about what I want for my hair. I don't care about my hair and yet I am deeply critical of others' efforts to tame/cut/style it. This looks nice and bouncy, although full of product and took a while to diffuser dry, something I would rarely, if ever, do. She also took two stabs at cutting it, as the first try left very full sides, so it was like two puffs on either side of my face. Not exactly triangular, but not flattering either. This is good enough for me, and I'll see how it looks straight. I wish I could find someone who knows how to wield a razor to get the choppy, razored ends I like so much.

My Blogger stats are showing a weird anomaly. On Saturday 1/24 it says I had more than 2,000 page views. Ridiculous. My Google Analytics, also installed on this blog/site, show no such spike. I searched and maybe Blogger stats count bots or something, but I'm surprised the disparity would be so great. Also when I drill down to look at the page views in the Blogger stats widget the high number doesn't exist, even when the time frame includes 1/24. Lame and annoying, but no big deal since this is a vanity site with no real purpose.

Hair Today

Six months after my last disastrous haircut I tried again, and this time I'm happier. It's not QUITE as short as I'd like, but it's definitely an upgrade from the mullet look. And freshly cut hair always swings better and will curl up nicely after I wash it. Hair stylists are always scared to cut curly hair too short. Probably a good thing, although I've had REALLY short hair that grows out beautifully. I even made a follow-up appointment for January, so I'll do my best to try and be more intentional about personal care, at least re: my hair. My teeth look pretty good in that webcam snap though.

I'm hoping to get my driver's license renewed this week with the semi-decent hair. We've lived here more than four years, but your license expires in your birth month, so I get a little extra time. I also want to try to take some family photos, maybe even do a family-of-three shot for our Christmas card this year. (No way ... it will just be a snap of Jane because she's the cutest thing about our family!)

There are NaBloPoMo prompts that come in my email every day that I could be using instead of this off-the-cuff style I seem to be favoring so far this year.

Rachel Held Evans tweeted about this funny Tumblr, Ev'ry Day I'm Pastorin, yesterday, and I've been scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. I'm not a pastor but I find the humor so funny!

Latest Hair Morph

Here's my latest haircut, about six or seven months since my last. It manages to be both too short AND too long at once. It has a distinct MULLET feel.

ARGH.

I went back to the first salon I tried in BR -- a different stylist because the one I originally went to has left, and in my hormonal state she was the reason I never went back (for leaving a small chunk of hair longer than the rest).

Shawn doesn't understand why I'm not more forceful -- I should have said "HEY! Can you cut some more off the back? I want it shorter." And I don't really understand either.

But when I'm in the chair I feel like I owe it to the professional to make the finishing touch decisions (although in my defense I did say I'd like it about shoulder length). The stylist was worried about how short it would be when curly, because it definitely does bounce up a lot. He said "better to have it too long than too short and end up looking like a Christmas tree." He didn't say it snarkily, but you get the point.

Also when I went in my hair was au naturel -- nothing in it, no styling, very wide and big and bushy -- looking exactly like a Christmas tree now that you mention it.

Maybe I can get used to it, but I think when the front dries curly it's going to be nightmarishly short, especially with longer in the back. Perhaps I could get the gumption to go back and ask for the back trimmed shorter if it is as bad as I expect when curly? I did in fact pay good money for the cut.

ARGH!

TIBTIL: Biosilk 17 Miracle Leave in Conditioner

I have a whole back story about discovering this product.

So I'm still searching for a hair salon that I like here in Baton Rouge. After Shawn was away for a few days I was desperate for some time out and my hair was really ratty -- just long and puffy and shapeless. So it was up in a ponytail or fat bun most of the time.

Enter: Fantastic Sam's. I thought: OK, a quick, cheap haircut with no appointment needed. Shawn can spend time with Jane for a little bit, and it's only a couple blocks from the house. How bad could it be?

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I didn't have to wait TOO long to get the cut -- about 20 minutes maybe? But then the cut and style (style costs extra ... and turns out to be even MORE than the cut itself) took nearly 2 hours on their own. I like sitting in a nice, well-appointed salon just fine. But this is a dingy, crummy hair cutting farm with clipped hair everywhere (no cleaning up between clients), junk spilling out of the MDF stock cabinets and really really weird "art" painted on the mirrors to show each stylists' personality. So I was not happy it took so long/didn't really enjoy the ambiance at all.

The one shining moment came when after the shampoo she sprayed this Biosilk 17 Miracle Leave in Conditioner, and WOWZA it really took out the tangles. The comb just glided through the hair with no tugging or pulling. I thought about buying some right then -- but once I saw the actual bill for the cut and style I decided to check on Amazon, where I got it for about $12. (I didn't even ask how much it was at Fantastic Sam's, but I'm sure it was more.)

The cut itself was fine -- I got solid layers, which is something I have trouble conveying apparently, as the last two salon cuts I ended up with a weird back-shorter-than-front angled 'do and a barely trimmed almost all-one-length cut. The length here was good, just about shoulder length, but she had no idea what I meant when I asked for razored ends. She had a razor comb or something that she tried with -- but it wasn't what I wanted. And she ended up cutting that off anyway because she kept picking and trimming for so long.

The blow dry was long and inefficient. I wanted to rip the dryer out of her hands and do it myself. She was intense with the flat iron too -- teeny tiny sections of hair and spraying each one with CHI iron guard spray (incidentally the smell reminded me of Georgetown and the boys across the hall). I appreciated the attention to detail, especially given the cost, but I hadn't prepared myself to sit still for QUITE so long.

The cut and style ended up being MORE than what I paid for a haircut and style at any of the salons I have been to in Baton Rouge (even factoring in tips, which I always give, even if I am dissatisfied!). In any case, I won't be going back to Fantastic Sam's anytime soon, and I'll probably just start back at the top of my salon tour around town. The first one I went to wasn't so bad, but I got turned off when there was a weird long piece in the cut. I should have just gone back and had her fix it. She actually could do the rocker chic razored ends that I like so much. I think my break from that salon (the only one I went to multiple times in BR) happened right after I got pregnant, so hormones were likely a factor there. It also is so close to campus that parking is a total nightmare.

I've been using the Biosilk 17 Miracle Leave in Conditioner for a couple weeks and I still really like it -- it makes combing out my wet hair a breeze, and I don't lose as much to breakage I think. It also does make my curls bounce more (although cutting my hair always helps with that, so who knows what's really the reason). I like the spray, and I thought you might too. I have not tried it as a body lotion (there are 17 "miracles" it can do and that is one of them), and I don't think I will. It's too valuable as a hair product to waste on my skin!

Amazon Affiliate links used -- apparently the CHI iron guard spray isn't available on Amazon at a reasonable price, but that gives you an idea of what I mean. Or here it is on ULTA.

Chip Chop

My Daughter's Hair

Jane's hair is getting out of control. A first haircut is in order. I didn't realize how traumatic the idea would be for me. But I'm quaking in my flip flops thinking about it while simultaneously wanting to take scissors to it myself. There are competing voices in my head about it, namely:

1. Her hair is beautiful and natural, just let it grow (hippie?)
2. Her hair is tangly and gets in her eyes, cut it yourself and be done with it (practical hippie? or maybe just cheap)
3. Her hair will look jacked up if you cut it yourself -- take her to a kid salon! (yuppie?)

 (Dada says she can have long hair when she can comb it herself!)

Long, wild hair at Lake Calhoun near Minneapolis

I'm pondering my own hair at the same time. The grey is starting to show more, at least to my eye. And I happened to read a book this week "Going Gray" -- that I didn't really like but was all about how our ideals of beauty are firmly entrenched in not-grey hair. So I've been noticing grey more (there's a lot of it at church). I am not ready for the upkeep of regular coloring, so nothing is going to happen now.

Green Eyebrows?

I have a green eyeliner pencil that I've never used. I bought it with the idea I might like to try an edgy makeup look sometime. Since I don't wear makeup normally going for edgy is a bit of a stretch. But it was a cheap-o brand so no real loss. But I was looking at it this week and the label says "eye and eyebrow pencil."

*Record scratch*

Oh, that's a whole new look I have never seen before -- colored eyeliner in your brows. How about that, trendy hipsters? Does anyone already do that? If they don't and then they start you'll know where you heard it first.

As for me, I'm going to try to wear mascara every day and work my way back up from there. There was a solid 6 months that I wore makeup daily for work -- starting in August 2010 until the "morning" sickness of 2011. I also flattened/blowdried my hair every time I washed it (not daily, but 3-4 times per week).

It's a good thing I don't care about how I look.

That's a "favorite" quote about me from a friend. I still haven't quite digested it or gotten over it -- more than 5 years later. I've decided it doesn't mean the same as not caring what people think about me but more me not thinking anyone can get the right impression based on the way I look so why try? Or something. Insecurity alert, I know.

UPDATE: Thanks to my mom who did a Google image search, apparently green eyebrows are a thing, possibly started by Lady Gaga. Surprised? Nah.

Chop Chop

Hard to tell but you can see all my hair in
this picture from the day I got it cut.

About a week ago I got my hair cut, continuing my search for a place to match the hair cuts I received in New York as a Bumble & Bumble hair model (shortish curl cut, please!). I still get blast emails about the model calls ... sad sad sad.

Initially I was really happy with the cut, because the girl was so nice and she styled it beautifully (which is a step up from when I raged immediately after my Rage salon haircut that was an expensive Super Cuts snip). She kept saying "I can't believe you're not freaking out" because of all the hair she was cutting, but really I was unfazed, in part because it wasn't cut as short in the front.

And therein lies the problem. I specifically asked for the hair to stay long enough for a ponytail, given Jane's proclivity to grab and pull hair and realistically knowing that I would wear my hair up as often as not. TECHNICALLY I can get my hair up but the very back is so short it stays down, making the perfect "handle" for a certain someone to do a little grabbing.

Curly triangle webcam snap -- easier to see
the forward angle here

The hair looks awesome straight. I was able to get it straightened myself pretty well, and because there's so much less hair now it is pretty quick to dry and flatten. But curly -- whoo boy. That's another story. It's triangle city up in here, since there aren't any defining layers to help remove the weight as it puffs (she did use thinning shears so I can't imagine what it would be like without that).

Hair grows quickly, and in any case this is just temporary. I might go back to the same salon/stylist. The cut was the cheapest I've had since moving here, and the experience was a good one. I'm just not sure how I feel about the end result.

Berlin with Baby: Hairstyles

Note: This series, Berlin with Baby, is being written in real time to be published upon our return to the United States.

Can you believe this hair? It’s so long and in this sunshine has a real red tint. Shawn and I each have a red-haired parent, so it isn’t unexpected. But I marvel at it every time it makes itself obvious. (This is on a boat tour we did on the Spree River.)




When in Germany, wear braids? I decided to give it a try to see if a) I could get her to sit still long enough and b) if her hair was really long enough for it. Both were tough, but we got a mini braid going. The front part of her hair is still too short to be pulled back except with clips (which are stressful choking hazards … much like the elastic at the end of this braid).

Hair Apparent

The poor dear...

Jane's First Ponytail