03 October 2012

Thin Skinned

Playground climbing
I thought the advice I got while pregnant was bad -- the horror stories of what would happen, both during the birth and once the baby was home. But all of that did not toughen up my skin or prepare me for the continued advice and poking questions I seem to get.

I know 99% of it is actually me projecting meaning into a harmless question, but when a mom at the playground asked "so, is Jane in any school programs?" I felt immediately shamed and panicky because the answer is of course "NO" but ...

SHOULD she be in school programs? She's 10 months old. Is she already at an age that I can't provide her with the stimulation she needs? Does she need more socialization than library story time, the church nursery and the playground can provide?

AM I DOING EVERYTHING WRONG?

And all of that from a question that was probably more like "know of any good programs for kids?" or "let me tell you about this program my son is in." (Although this particular mom I already knew she had her son in Mother's Day Out and also works as a music teacher for that program.)

Just writing this out makes my insecurities seem less important and likely a waste of my time fretting them. I also need to be a better listener to create some real mom friendships. Developing friendships is very difficult for me in any case, and adding this weird self-consciousness about my parenting choices seems to make it that much harder.

Maybe I should just grow up...

2 comments:

Sydney said...

But the main thing is, Jane looks so cute in her little jeans.

Anonymous said...

I like the tone of this contemplation, NOT because you are likely doing anything "wrong", but because it seems your mind is open/curious to new understandings.

There is no wrong path (at least until somebody turns twelve, or whatever!!) aaaaaaaaand no parent ever gets enough sample size to really "KNOW" 'right' from 'wrong'.

Just keep making the best decisions based on what you know in the present, and don't sweat the small stuff!!