Cutting the Cord: Goodbye to Cox Cable

Static Noise by Douglas Cootey on Flickr

After 3+ years as a Cox cable customer (and 3 years before that as a Time Warner customer and probably 3 years before that as a Cox (?) customer in Maryland and Virginia ... and I can't even guess what the cable company was called in Stillwater, but say another 2 years there after I moved out of the dorms), I've been talked into cutting the cord. It isn't that we can't afford to keep it. It's that we're choosing not to.

Our promotional rate, which was the bundle for phone, internet and cable, expired. And the customer service rep didn't care to renegotiate with us like they did last year. So the logical thing to do, rather than pay $200+ for all three services was to drop cable, especially as it's the most expensive and we get a discount on the internet no matter what (thanks, LSU).

I mainly use cable for the DVR -- and I watch network shows, some USA, TNT and TBS. That's it. I don't watch HGTV or Food Network anymore. I also couldn't record all the shows I wanted (only two at a time, and Wednesday has become a packed night for shows I like). We rarely watch sports. It seems like a lot to pay for content that's mostly available otherwise streaming on the Internet.

Or that I could learn to do without.

Yikes.

The cable was supposed to be cut off on Wednesday. So far it hasn't, but I know I'll dissolve a bit when it does. And I have until next Wednesday or Thursday to return the cable box.

Because of the Olympics my regular shows aren't even on. Next week, the first one without cable and with new episodes of my shows will be my true test. We should still have over-the-air access to the network stations, but I can't get to the TV by 7 when prime time starts. And with no way to even record my favorites (like, is a VCR even a possibility any more?) I'm going to be relying heavily on weeks later streaming online, which I know doesn't work for every show.

I really wish I had a hookup for the TV that would make it like a computer screen, i.e. that I could connect to network websites and watch shows that way once they're available. I have a Roku (thanks, Grandma Dale), so I can watch Amazon Prime and other content (PBS, etc.) on the TV but it doesn't provide a full browsing experience.  I've been looking at stand-alone DVRs, which you would think exist as a replacement for VCRs, and haven't been able to find one that seems right (or that doesn't have a monthly fee attached -- without even giving access to content).

I am trying not to be a sheep. But gosh, I love being a sheep and having my TV content available when I'm ready for it.

TIBTIL: Trader Joe's Instant Coffee

If you're a coffee snob, ignore this post.

I have plenty to write about, but I've been feeling unbelievably craggy lately -- anxious and crabby, dreadful and sulky. Most unattractive. Possibly related to the swinging temperatures and weather. But I digress.

Our Trader Joe's opened in October, and I have been a handful of times, usually to stock up on things (great organic peanut butter for Jane and stuff for my mom since her nearest TJ's is hours away). But the thing I bought that I love is their instant coffee.

I'm still having my negative reaction to coffee made at our house otherwise (even after cleaning the coffee maker thoroughly and trying different coffee). It just doesn't taste right. (Give me a latte from anywhere and I'm sailing though, so maybe I just need to add more milk ... anyway.)

I bought the TJ's instant coffee on a whim when I was grabbing stuff just before a storm. It ended up being delightful. It's definitely instant, but with fat free half & half is definitely drinkable to me, and I actually like it better than any stuff I've made in the coffee pot lately. So I thought I'd share that find in case anyone else is looking for a good way to make single cups of coffee without too much trouble.

Road Tripping Toddler

This may be the only photo I took of Jane
on Valentine's Day 2014

Jane and I survived 24+ hours together in the car this week. We went to Oklahoma for my great aunt's funeral. I was very glad we went because the service was healing for me, as was being with my family and other people to whom Norma Lee had been very important. It always nourishes my soul to see Owen and Gran and Gingie and Aunt B.

The travel was less nourishing, as so much driving is utterly exhausting. Jane was a champ, and she read, colored and listened to songs all the way. She didn't sleep at all on the way there, despite a 5:45 a.m. wake up call and monotonous landscapes, cold temperatures and cloudy skies (see video below). I'll never understand her ability to fight off sleep even in a moving car.

On the way home she did grab a 30-45 minute power nap after lunch. It was sunny and much warmer, but I wised up and on the advice of my friend (with whom Jane stayed during the funeral) -- unlike on the way there I didn't engage with her, turned off the music and didn't keep handing her books/toys when I wanted her to nap. She fussed a little but not so much that I couldn't stand it. Jane is used to sleeping in darkness, so she threw her lovey over her head and slept until she got too hot to sleep any more. Her poor head was all sweaty. I'm sure even the short nap helped and took the edge off slightly.

I used some of the same tricks as during our Christmas drive, although I wasn't able to help her with anything during the drive and she can't do the gel clings for a while because she sometimes puts them in her mouth! Nunga. She did color some on this trip, and thankfully when she started coloring herself she only had washable crayons available. Good grief.

We checked out a few CDs from the library, which were good. Jane likes listening to songs but not stories. If I put on a non-song CD or track on my iPod she would just say "SONGS. SONGS." over and over again. Toward the end she had fallen in love with this song by Ernie, "Up Goes the Castle," and requested it on repeat by calling for the "QUEEN SONG." I'll be glad to return that CD.

It took closer to 13 hours to get home, thanks to Baton Rouge traffic and me needing to potty so frequently (at least it seemed more frequently). Also because the weather was warmer we were able to stop at a couple playgrounds, which may have added a bit of time too. Worth it though.

I assume by tomorrow, two full days home, we'll be back to normal, but I think we're both still dragging a little bit even today.

 

Part of the snowy drive in Texas en route to Oklahoma on Tuesday Feb. 11.

In Memory

Norma Lee and me, Christmas 2013

An old post of some of the things I learned from my great aunt Norma Lee.

Amtrak Rewards Expiring

I got a message from Amtrak saying my membership rewards were going to expire because I haven't taken an Amtrak trip in three years.

Oh, the passage of time.

That means it's coming up on three years that we've been gone from New York. And since I lived in New York a little less than three years I have lived in Baton Rouge about the same time. I certainly feel more rooted here -- home owner, in a church community a bit more here, etc. I'll always love New York as the place we started married life and lived the DINK life (double income, no kids). I wouldn't trade my life now for anything though!

Anyway, back to Amtrak.

There isn't really a way for me to take a trip on Amtrak here that I can see. Maybe New Orleans to Chicago? And I'm not thinking I want to do that. I also don't want to take the train from New Orleans to the East Coast. (I should have taken that DC to NYC trip with Jane while we were there in October, but who had the time ... or the money for the hotel once we were in NYC?)

So I guess goodbye to my points.

BUT I was able to redeem most of the points I had accumulated (and I gathered almost all of them via trips for work back and forth from NYC to DC -- I did work for a living once!). I got a $50 gift card and had a few choices. I ended up picking a restaurant just because I like dining out. A bit of redeemer's remorse though, as I kind of wish I'd just gotten the Lowe's card for Shawn. (Target and Amazon weren't options.)

Recipe: Un-stuffed Bell Pepper Casserole

I really like stuffed bell peppers. I hadn't made them for a while, but at my mother-in-law's in October they had a bumper crop of peppers that needed to be used so we made some. YUM. I've made them a couple-three times at home since, and while not a hard recipe it does dirty a lot of dishes.

I read a recipe in All You once for a bell pepper casserole to give the same taste without as much work. I made the recipe as is, and it seemed to take a lot of work (like cooking the rice separately). I have my favorite stuffed bell pepper recipe from my mom, and I decided to use the same ingredients (actually doubled though) to make a casserole with bell peppers mixed in instead of stuffed. Here's what I did:

Browned 1 package of ground turkey (1.25 lbs) with 1 diced onion and 3 diced bell peppers until meat was brown and the veggies were soft. Then I added one ~14 oz can of diced tomatoes, 2/3 cup rice, 1 cup water, 2 TB Worcestershire sauce, 1 tsp dried basil (original recipe says or oregano) and salt & pepper. Bring to a boil, then cut the heat to simmer for ~15 minutes. Then I stirred in 1/2 cup or so of shredded cheese and dumped the whole thing into a casserole dish sprayed with Pam (I used a small square one, probably 9x9). I baked it for ~15 minutes in a 375 degree oven. Then sprinkled on more cheese, because come on, let it melt for about a minute then dished it up.

Scrumptious, and enough for leftovers for lunch the next day. It still dirties two dishes (the skillet and the casserole), but no separate pot for boiling the peppers for stuffing or making the rice like in the All You recipe. I was just pleased as punch with it, and I wanted to get it down somewhere in case I forget. (Although I did forget to take a picture of it!)

Migraine Hangover

On Sunday evening I started coming down with a yuck headache -- not surprising since I had been feeling well for about a day after the whammo cold of last week. That's just my luck, I mean. It was concentrated on the right side of my head, mostly in the back, but I just popped some nighttime Tylenol and went to bed. (I'm really taking advantage of my newfound ability to take drugs again!)

Of course that was a night Jane was having trouble sleeping too. I was zonked out of it but also my head was throbbing despite the Tylenol so I couldn't really move and Shawn had to take care of her -- and therefore get way less sleep than he needed. The next day I pushed myself out of bed so he could get to work, and promptly felt 10 times worse after he'd gone.

I pushed through the nausea to make Jane's breakfast, fought with her to start eating it and then laid down on the couch, wishing for a couple more hours of sleep and for the ibuprofen I took to kick in. My head never did feel much better that morning, although after a couple hours of laying on the couch and doing my best to keep Jane from completely destroying the house I felt well enough to look at my Kindle Fire. At lunch I ate cream cheese and crackers (health food, right?) and drank some DDP with more ibuprofen. Caffeine for the win, as I progressively got better as the afternoon wore on.

The headache didn't fully go away but it was more manageable, there was no nausea and I didn't have the intense fatigue of the morning. Jane put me through my paces with no nap and begging for "exercises." I let her watch her videos even though I was too sick to work out. I felt guilty about the no exercise day, but given that I could barely bend over without excruciating pain to my head I figured it was prudent to skip a day. I also didn't do any of my chores and basically laid about.

We webcammed with Aunt B, who's snowed in, and she suggested a migraine. I looked it up and it seems plausible, although it certainly wasn't entirely debilitating like I know some people's are. I hope I don't have to experience it again -- or if I do it's when I have child care help!

I've caught up today -- exercise and chores. We went to Walmart to search for a toy baby bottle and a new booster seat. I found both, but was disappointed when I opened the booster seat box and saw part of the plastic shattered. It shouldn't be a big deal to return it, but I still feel personally affronted somehow. What a crazy, I know. If Jane rests or doesn't seem too crabby patty we'll attempt to take care of that this afternoon. Then I have a church meeting at 6. After yesterday hobbling around the house and hardly moving today I'm keeping busy, and I'm certainly glad to be feeling better. I hope it stays this way for a while!

Winter Crochet

I made a few motifs during the sneauxpocolypse here. I've also been working on a baby sweater that may or may not fit Jane (and may or may not actually work out -- but I'll detail those woes in the post I write when it's finished).

I think my favorite motif was this Irish lace three-layered flower, the pattern from a crochet book I checked out from the library. Instead of three different colors, I just used one thread, which is variegated -- leftover from her purple swing set cardigan. I sewed it (badly) onto a hair clip we had, and Jane actually kept it in her hair a bit. Sweet!

 

I deleted my last post "Kindness" because it seemed absolutely unnecessary and self-pitying. People are very kind to me, and I remember those kindnesses. My sloppily made point was more about my mindset to be down on myself and feel alone. Thinking back on so many gratitudes helped change my attitude, at least a little bit!

Kiddie Videos

Since Jane climbed out of her crib I have been wary of exercising during her naptime, mostly because I don't want to be surprised and I want to be able to hear her at all times. So I've altered our routine and do the exercises in the morning (I tried doing them at the same time and letting her stay up, but I ended up rage-filled trying to do something I didn't like with the added hindrance of a needs-to-be-napping toddler).

Working out in the morning after breakfast has been working out so far -- maybe a week and a half? She's less clingy (hard to do push-ups with an extra 30 lbs on your back), and she likes to pretend to do some of the exercises and read or play the rest of the time. I still get mad when she climbs on me but we're working on sorting that out.

After my exercises she wants to do "toddler exercises," because I showed her a Mickey Mousercize video once. It snowballed from there to watching the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Hot Dog video and a Jimmy Fallon & the Roots sing the Sesame Street theme video (oh-em-gee I love it!). I even watched "Let it Go" from Frozen with her -- making me want to see the movie that much more. And we watched the Mr. Rogers Neighborhood intro song. Nostalgia!

So, her no-screen time is officially broken, as put them together and it's about 5-10 minutes a day (plus the exercise video, which is usually 25-35 minutes). Still less than the 1-2 hour limit recommended by the AAP. I don't feel good or bad about it -- just neutral I guess. She LOVES it though, and I know if I were to leave her in front of a running YouTube set up or something she'd be still and quiet for a good chunk of time. As it is I watch with her and try to get her to dance with the music -- sometimes she will, sometimes not. And then we shut it down for the day and transition into something else -- books, playing, going out, whatever.

For what it's worth here are our regular favorites so far:

Car Seat Shuffle

Jane's car seat is still installed rear-facing, even though she's nearly 27 months old. The law used to be rear-facing until age 1 and 20 lbs. (both had to be true), but just before Jane was born that was changed to recommend rear-facing until at least age 2.

Her main car seat, a Britax Marathon, has a sticker on the side with the old rule, something like "use rear-facing only for children younger than 1 and less than 20 lbs." But looking at the seat's manual it says "Use rear-facing for children 5 – 35 pounds, and forward-facing 20 – 65 pounds." Jane still fits into that rear-facing category (weighs less than 35 pounds).

There are also new car seat rules for 2014 about how the seats should be installed. (Awesome explanation here at The Car Seat Lady.) We use the LATCH system now, and from what I can tell that is still fine. Basically the new recommendations say that the seat plus the child's weight should be less than 65 pounds if the seat is to be installed with LATCH. Otherwise it should be installed with the seatbelt. Jane's weight plus the carseat weight is definitely less than 65, so we're good keeping LATCH For now too.

I'm not sure when we'll turn her seat around. I'm sure she'd like it and it could make getting her in and out easier, but she's much safer rear facing, at least in terms of a crash. Here are some sites I looked at when we were first considering moving her car seat to face forward in November/December:

• http://csftl.org/rear-facing-car-seat-myths-busted/ 
• http://www.nhtsa.gov/ChildSafety/step2   
• http://www.babble.com/baby/6-myths-about-extended-rear-facing/ 

I couldn't find any sites supporting the idea of turning her seat around being better for her safety in any way, although if I'm missing some I'd be grateful to have them pointed out to me.

Part of me wonders if I am keeping her rear-facing to extend her babyhood, and if I'm being selfish. But that is a small part of me, because I know this is for her safety in the event of a crash. I hope we never have to put it to the test, now or whenever she is flipped around to face forward.

Am I being ridiculous about this?

Affiliate link used for car seat.

Clean Bird and Random Ice Updates

I can't stop thinking about this Jezebel post about showering and how often is normal. The comments are as interesting as the post. They are mostly about not showering daily. For what it's worth I shower every night but wash my hair every third or fourth day. I can't imagine not using soap, but then I've never given it any thought. We bathe Jane every other day and use the mildest soap imaginable, for which I'm ever grateful to my friend for introducing to us.

Frozen driveway -- ice pellets

We had another snow day (or faux sneaux), which was good because the roads were icy and dangerous until the afternoon. I don't understand why the mail didn't run, but whatever.

This stay-at-home for multiple days in a row has coincided with my second cold of the year. This one has hit me like a freight train, as opposed to the last one that crept up on me and lingered. I can only hope that this one will just go away as quickly as it came.

Also for the first time in more than three years I can actually take medicine (not pregnant and not nursing). Two nights ago night time cold medicine sent me into a deep foggy sleep that was unfamiliar and scary, so I skipped it last night. Big mistake, as I had poor sleep and not enough of it. Tonight I'll brave the crazy feeling just to get some rest and hopefully recover.

Icicles on the roof

The staying at home thing isn't totally difficult for me, as I can easily go a couple days without leaving the house if I'm not careful (especially since I've been trying to stay away from Target and mindless shopping). With warmer weather we usually hit up the park, which is a welcome relief. It will be warm enough later this week to do that too.

I haven't lost any productivity either -- although I wonder how much they can total the storm's impact on the economy to the region and our city. I still did my chores, exercised and kept Jane entertained, fed and mostly happy. Having Shawn home helps with her happiness. This stupid cold is surely bringing me down, and a couple times today I thought I would just collapse on the couch in a heap... Maybe tomorrow.

I'm not sure how I picked up this second round of cold germs. I know Jane was sick for one day last week after we had a play date, so that's possible. (I made a big point of scheduling the date AFTER we were all healthy from 2014 cold round 1, but the other family did throw some sneezes and coughs in Jane's face.) If I got it from kissing Jane's face I guess it's worth it -- I love kissing my big girl. But I'd still rather not be sick!

There is another possible source though. I started feeling sick Sunday evening, and I'm ALWAYS suspect of passing the peace, which we now do every week at church. I don't think I'm a big germ-o-phobe, but I am aware of public health best practices and how washing hands stops the spread of germs. And seeing the pastors (and helpers, sometimes children helpers) serve communion intinction-style after touching everyone in the sanctuary without so much as a swipe of hand sanitizers always makes me leery. No one listens to my suggestions though so I've just stopped sharing ideas.

What a positive bird am I.

Goodbye Open Diary

Starting in December 2000 until about May 2013 I wrote somewhat regularly at Open Diary, an online blogging site before blogging was cool. I had written a bit before that in a self-coded website (geocities or tripod or both), but the ease of OD -- and the included anonymous audience -- made writing much easier and more satisfying. I stumbled upon the site after looking at bored.com in my dorm room while procrastinating school work. It was quite the happy -- and long-lasting -- find.

After I started this blog, linked to my own name, I backed off writing on OD, except for when I wanted to write something that just wasn't right for this blog -- i.e., could hurt feelings or was too personal to be publicly tied to myself. Not that my OD was untraceable. I'm sure if anyone wanted to they could have figured it out, and there are people from OD who know about this blog too. So the trail is there. But somehow it felt safer, more anonymous.

Now it is closed. The home page doesn't even load anymore. There had been rumblings about it already, so I had downloaded my diary -- not sure if I wrote any more entries after I downloaded, and I can't check now. So that's that. All I'm left with is a massive notepad file. It includes comments, but there's no way to track down anyone I haven't connected with already outside of OD.

They say nothing really ever leaves the Internet though, so I'm sure via the wayback machine or some other archiving process someone could read about my angst over boys in college or complaints about whoever was pissing me off at a given time. I don't know that I'll ever ready my own archive, except maybe I should mine it for material for this blog!

I hadn't thought about OD in a while anyway, so I appreciate my friend who tipped me off to its final demise in a comment here. Thanks.

Crochet on a Dime

Snowflake afghan I made for my Gran several years ago

I really like to crochet, and I also really like to look at crochet books. Of course a great way to get new pattern ideas is through the library, and even better for me is loan access to digital crochet books (made possible by my Christmas gift Kindle Fire that allows me to see the photos in color!). Here are some of the favorites I've checked out recently:

Crocheting School is a nice big book with lots of pictures. It covers basic stitches, plus many I've never tried (afghan/Tunisian, hairpin lace and using a loom for example). Published in 2004 its yarn examples look outdated in color combinations (hard to believe 10 years is enough time to do that!), but the techniques are so great. I have made the three-layered Irish lace flower, thinking I'll make some hair clips for Jane, and I tested the interlocking rings in Christmas colors just for fun.

Uncommon Crochet: Twenty-Five Projects Made from Natural Yarns and Alternative Fibers is one I checked out electronically. A bit more modern (published in 2012), it has fun projects to try with materials other than yarn. I really want to make the leather basket, and the raffia placemats look intriguing too.

101 Crochet Stitch Patterns and Edgings is another 2012 release that I borrowed digitally, and it's just a stitch dictionary with straightforward directions for each pattern. I bookmarked three to try -- a chevron, a rainbow arch and a starburst/alternating shell.

I will soon exhaust my library's digital and print collection, but I still like to look at more patterns. Browsing online is one way to go, and there are certainly many free patterns available. But often I prefer a more book-like experience. A quick search on the Amazon Kindle store for "crochet" revealed many free pattern books. They're released by yarn makers in the hopes that you'll pick a pattern and buy the suggested yarn, but it's still a great way to find some new patterns and ideas.

Here are some not-free but still cheap books that I'm thinking about investing in, although most are available to borrow for free with the Prime Kindle Owners' Lending Library:

• Crochet One-Skein Wonders $2.99
• Crochet Dynamite: Gifts For Your Besties $0.99
• 99 Crochet Flowers $2.99
• Quick Items to Crochet A Collection of 20 Vintage Crochet Patterns for Craft Fairs and Gifts $3.99

And I could keep looking for hours, but my naptime window is closing. (There was no nap today, but she won't stay resting in her crib forever!)

Do you have any other ideas for inexpensive crochet? This doesn't even touch on the ways to save on materials. I have enough acrylic worsted weight yarn to keep crocheting hats for a good long while, but I keep coveting and wanting more -- especially now some lighter weight variegated sock yarn for making a drapey pineapple pattern baby blanket!

Disclosure: Affiliate links used throughout.

Wintry Mix

Frozen bunny in our garden

Frozen trash and recycling cans

On Friday we had a bit of a wintry mix weather situation, and the town SHUT DOWN. The bridge over the river was closed -- the only reliable way to cross was via the slow and overcrowded ferry. We stayed home all day, although Shawn did go to work. It was cold, but it didn't snow. There was icy rain and some sleet/ice pellets. Nothing like the beautiful snow I remember from NYC.

There may be some more weather coming in Tuesday, a 30% chance and definitely cold. I absolutely love it, as being slightly nippy in my warm house is OK by me. But there might be a small part of me turning into a southerner that's looking forward to warmer days ahead. (Who am I kidding, we have warmer days mixed in between this cold days -- it's going to be about 60 today I think!)

Preschool Panicking

It doesn't matter who is talking to me or what their opinion is. Any mention of preschool or Jane's education otherwise is enough to make my insides seize up and my breathing to go shallow. Without being too dramatic I really want to avoid the whole situation.

When homeschoolers ask me about preschool and why in the world I'd think she needs that, I get defensive.

When someone asks me whether she's in a mother's day out or similar program, even if they are just making conversation, I get defensive.

When anyone asks about where we want her to go to preschool I just flat out panic in addition to being defensive!

I can't be the sole provider of Jane's education for sure, and I respect those people who are able to be that for their children. But I know that home schooling isn't for us. I don't know how to work the system in the Baton Rouge education market (and that's what it is, a market) to get into the "right" school, whatever that actually is.

I'm interested in Jane having a solid education, not socially climbing or trying to get into a school where she'll be among the elite/future power brokers of the city or state. (How weird is it to think of preschool as the precursor to that kind of thought?) I also don't want her to be in a failing school with ill-prepared teachers and unmotivated students.

A friend at church said he doesn't worry about his kids because he knows they're smart enough that wherever they get in their family will be able to make it work and they'll excel anywhere. Rationally I know that's true for Jane. But it doesn't stop me from fretting needlessly -- mostly needlessly because the fretting doesn't lead to any action, not that I'm aware of any action I can take at this moment anyway given that she's 2.

(I wanted to apply to an LSU lab school through the department of human ecology, but that website is gone and I can find no mention of it anywhere besides outdated preschool compilation sites.)

We're on the list for the university day care, so perhaps we should accept our spot when we come to the top of the list again. But that care is expensive, I can't imagine being away from her and there's no part-time option. Would I be ready to let her start when she's almost 3? What if I wait until she's almost 4? Is that too long to be out of the workforce?

And that's the rub -- while my panic about preschool and Jane does center on her well being and development there is a part of it that is about ME and my wants/needs and what's expected of me from some unknown (and perhaps imaginary) them.

Reading Rainbow

I love to read, and with an amazing Christmas gift of a Kindle Fire and access to tons of books via my library's ebook selection I've already started plowing through several books this year. The Kindle is linked to Goodreads automatically, since Amazon now owns it, but gone is any way to simply tweet about the book itself without also posting to Goodreads. (I also have an old school early generation Kindle that I have to decide what to do with, but I could tweet something without linking to Goodreads on it.)

One thing that is neat is to see the books I read in a specific year. I have never fully cataloged my reading on Goodreads, and I don't really keep track of the books I've read anywhere else. The Kindle makes it easy to add any Amazon books -- either Kindle or ordered in print -- by accessing your Amazon account. I didn't do that yet, because really what does it matter?

I will try to record the books I read on the Kindle -- but not every one. I've been reviewing several crochet pattern books (AMAZING) and read most of a fitness book, but I don't think I want to count those in "what I read in 2014." Maybe if my count is low at the end of the year though I'll go back and add them! Because my library loans link to my Amazon account those details will be there forever I think. :-/

Anyway, here's the latest book I read, finished today, and briefly what I thought of it (brief because I can't type well on the touch screen).

The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Surprisingly Novel-like

I didn't realize I had chosen nonfiction until I started the book. I loved the details and everything about the fair. having that interwoven with the serial killer story made for a book I didn't want to put down.

View all my reviews
 
I was very impressed with the amount of research that went into the book. It reminded me of my grad school days and the work I got to do in the National Archives II in College Park. It was fun and felt somewhat exciting to sift through records and documents that no one had seen in decades. (I was focusing on female reporters during the Vietnam War.) There are many more stories like this to be told I'm sure, but the level of effort it requires seems insurmountable. I know I'm late to the game (try 10+ years) for this popular book, but I salute the author for his work and will probably check out more of his books.

Affiliate links used.

Therapeutic Shopping or Lifting Weights

Today I broke my self-prescribed Target fast. I tracked my spending in December and saw patterns I didn't like. I tend to buy things to make myself feel better, and that really isn't healthy. So I decided to stay away from Target for at least a month.

I didn't quite make it, mainly because of diapers. I had it in my head that potty training *might* happen this month so didn't really count how many we had left before I started the "fast." As we crept ever closer to zero diapers I realized I'd either have to buy non-Target diapers or break the fast.

Obviously I chose a small Target run. (Target diapers work so well for us -- no leaks/no problems/affordable.) I bought bananas too, but was pretty good in-and-out. I looked at some clearance items as I walked by them and checked out the kettle bells, because I think I want to buy one. But I was able to resist any extraneous purchases. Just being in the store made me feel good and happy though. What is wrong with me?

Re: kettle bell, I did a Jillian Michaels kettle bell workout and just used my 2 lb. dumbbell. It was fine, and even picking up the 7 lb. kettle bell in Target made me think about how much harder it would be -- and what a better workout.

At my metabolic clinic appointment this week the new RN I'm seeing (because the old one moved away) suggested only 1/3 of exercise be cardio and to really focus on muscle building exercises with weights. My body can certainly build muscle, and although I don't totally believe her that I can drop weight that way given my experiences losing weight in the past, I thought I would give it a try. I'm just not sure how to get my hands on heavier weights without joining a gym. Hrm.

The Jillian Michaels videos incorporate cardio into the routines with weights/strength training, so I'll keep sampling those until I do them all/am completely bored with them. The RN didn't think that was the best idea/doesn't like JM. But she couldn't give me a good reason why not. Mostly I just have to keep up the consistency.

Maybe I should check Craigslist for a used kettle bell or heavier weights. I think I need to give myself another month off Target. I bought the huge box of diapers, so I should be OK through February... I will probably let myself off the hook to make a few other purchases before then though...

Hello Kitty Crochet Hat

I made this Hello Kitty-inspired hat in a few hours one Wednesday. It's for Jane and turned out pretty cute.

It's the same basic hat that I used to make my toddler Christmas hats with different shapes for the eyes and nose, plus long stitches for the whiskers. I'm still not sure that I'm happy with those, and I almost wish I had edged the hat in pink or done the side braid ties completely in white.

Overall I'm pretty happy with it, although Jane likes to wear it backwards -- maybe more of a Goodbye Kitty look?

The Terrible Twos

Bingo Number 2 by LEOL30 on Flickr

After a few months of parenting a two-year-old, I'm starting to think it isn't her who is terrible, but me. She is going about her business, trying to learn new things, but it's me who's resistant to change, and frustrated simultaneously by her lack of independence and her lack of dependence, if that makes any sense.

She's too big to be babied, and I can't physically corral her with any sort of ease -- but she's not quite big enough to do most things by herself. It seems her least favorite thing is to follow instructions or requests, regardless of whether she agrees with them.

I'm sure she's ready for a lot more than I've introduced her to, but I still hesitate. And sometimes when we try a new thing -- like colored play dough from a package -- it goes well for a while, but whammo! One afternoon without a nap and she reverts and tries to take a giant bite of the blue dough. Gross! And no more play dough for a good long while.

Early childhood development is fascinating stuff, and I'm privileged to be a part of Jane's and watch it unfold. But I don't always like the mama that I am while it happens!

Num Nums are Not Forever

This week I said goodbye to an important part of my parenting life up to this point. Jane stopped nursing, after just over 26 months. I'm feeling lots of feelings about it.

I have thought of myself as an accidental hippie mama in this respect, but really I am an intentional lactivist and wholly believe that extended nursing has been a boon to her health and development. It's also been pretty great for me, what with regular releases of feel-good hormones (and you know I need all the feel-good-ness I can get!).

Now that weaning is over I can feel the difference, but at least our weaning was gradual. I haven't had any engorgement or pain issues. When I started drafting this post, everything felt fine emotionally. But a couple days later and the hormonal bottom has dropped out so to speak. I've had a terrible, no-good, horrible day with lots of crying and am trying to regain equilibrium. I'm chalking it up to the hormonal shifts that come with completed weaning, although it is probably a lot of things together. I just didn't know it would hit me so hard.

I'm quite proud that we made it so far, but I'm actually more surprised that we've completed weaning! I was starting to think it wouldn't happen, mostly because we both love it so much. It had started getting more challenging, with her being so big and unfocused about it.

I wanted the perfect children's book to say goodbye to nursing, but I never found a good one. We did read "Ready to Wean" a lot (affiliate link), and talked about the concept, so it was at least partly an intellectual assent on her part too. She did understand why we were going to stop and was able to agree to "no more num nums."

We didn't set a firm deadline, but it just sort of happened, as I suggested not nursing one night before bed (extra singing and cuddles in its place), and we kept dropping until even the nap nursing was gone. The last time we nursed was very briefly on Sunday 1/12 before her nap.

My body had a very difficult time getting pregnant, and it's never been a well-oiled machine. But I found out that it can feed a baby to perfection. For the first 6+ months of Jane's life she was all breast milk all the time, and she was the chubbiest, most beautiful and healthy baby. Her doctor often proclaimed her "perfect" and pointed out how proud I should be for providing her with that nutrition.

But it was really just the easiest thing. I didn't have to think about it after the first month or so, and after six weeks we stopped tracking and just went to feeding on demand (mainly because Christmas travel screwed up my note taking). It's the feeding her food that's been so much more difficult!

Jane's been pretty healthy, avoiding most fevers and colds thanks in part I'm sure to the protective qualities of breast milk. I'll be interested to see if she gets sick more often now, although it's not a fair comparison since she's much more out in the world these days and her immune system is more mature.

It's a bittersweet time, as I'm going to miss the special bond -- and the guaranteed soother. But I'm glad to have this baby girl continue to grow into childhood.