Seventh Birthday Party, Mermaid Style

The weak ass decorations

By the time it came to decorating for Jane's party I was kind of over it and half-assed things. We decorated the sun room and I did the crepe paper on the awning by the back door (otherwise plenty of people, including me, would bonk their heads). We did some tissue paper fish and this swirly crepe paper swag I'd bought from Oriental Trading and called it a day.

Because it was so chilly (forecasted high 56), I figured we might be inside some so I set up a coloring station by tearing apart a mermaid dollar store color book and getting out the girls' crayons and markers. No one used the coloring station, although plenty of people came inside and played in the living room. There's a draw to other people's toys, and it was a mess! I should have put toys away or at least gotten out things with fewer pieces! Ha.

The food.

For food we had a popcorn machine with the bounce house (and chairs and tables), and I made hot chocolate in the crock pot, had chips, carrots and ranch dip and a "7" cheese plate of grapes, sliced cheese and crackers (all things I already had/not specially bought for the party). The hot chocolate (with marshmallows, of course) was a major hit, and the kids ran through it quickly. I also made a pot of decaf, and several adults did half hot chocolate and half coffee. YUM. I quick made half a batch again, although it didn't really get hot (the recipe calls for 2 hours of low cooking time). The kids didn't mind and basically drank chocolate milk.

The pull apart cupcake cake was a hit, although I forgot to take it out of the fridge early enough so the frosting was pretty set up still and it was hard to pull the cupcakes apart. (We used a spoon, although a knife would have worked much better.)

7 Pinata by Mari

The homemade 7 pinata was a good thing too, and I liked it as decoration too. I built it a little TOO sturdy, as it was hard for it to come apart, and in the end the top was what busted and we tipped it over to release the candy (Hershey Kisses, gummy bears and dum dum suckers - Jane's choices).

Everyone went home with a few pieces of candy, some mermaid-themed swag (pencil, stamper, glow bracelets from Halloween clearance, punch balloon and mermaid craft). Jane got some very nice gifts and had a mostly good time. There was some scuffling, as happens when over-sugared kids are in a tight, bouncy space! But in the end she was glad to see all her friends and is bouncing as long as possible until the rental guys come to pick up the bouncy castle.

Bouncy castle of our dreams

Mermaid Pull Apart Cake

Jane got the idea for a mermaid party by looking at the Oriental Trader catalog, so we've run with the idea as best we can. We have mermaid-themed goodie bags, and her invitation had a mermaid on it. The bounce house place didn't have a mermaid-themed bouncer, but they did have a castle that we decided could look like it's under-the-sea. (If the rain doesn't stop we'll really BE under the sea for crying out loud. It is supposed to be clear and cool tomorrow.)

Cooling cupcakes

For the cake Jane originally wanted a sheet cake with mermaid pictures on it. I MAYBE could have done something like that (using cut outs or toys on the top), but after a perusal of Pinterest I found a cupcake pull apart cake in the shape of a mermaid tail. I showed Jane several versions, heavily influencing her to pick the one I liked/thought looked best and easiest. I also liked the idea of a cupcake pull apart cake in the shape of a 7 using the mermaid colors of teal, pink and purple, but she liked the tail better. So here we go!

I baked two boxes of cupcakes, and I got 23 out of each box. I used an ice cream scoop I bought specifically for this project to try to keep the cupcakes the same size. It didn't really work because I was impatient and sloppy. But in the end it was OK. I let them cool while Liv and I went to her Spanish class, ate lunch and she laid down for her nap.

I'd made the buttercream frosting Wednesday -- I made it and the chocolate frosting for Jane's birthday birthday cake on the same day. One batch of chocolate and three batches of vanilla -- dyed two batches pink and split the third between teal and purple. I was making the frosting just before we left to go to supper at church on Wednesday, and I couldn't find my specifically purchased food dye. (It was with the party favors instead of in the pantry!) So I put the buttercream in the fridge, went to our meal and came back to try to dye it. I let it warm up but not enough -- dying it was SUPER hard. Today I left the frosting out all morning -- so probably 4 or 5 hours -- so the icing was smooth and spreadable, and I could have easily added the dye today. Oh well. (Remember how anti-food dye I once was? I still am, but I've kind of given in somehow and not sure how to return to my puritan ways.)

In formation!

After Liv laid down I got to work. I tried laying out empty cupcake wrappers to get an idea of how the cake would look, but they didn't hold their shape. So when I was ready to frost I just laid out the cupcakes, following my inspiration picture. I had read some tips online, so I knew they might slip around. I didn't want to waste icing (or make things even messier when we eventually EAT the cake), so I tried double sided tape on the cupcake wrapper bottoms to keep things stable. It didn't really work, but luckily the cupcakes didn't move around too much.

I had a ton of frosting, and I scooped it on before using my offset spatula to spread it around. I worked from top to bottom - purple, teal and pink. I added white sparkle sanding sugar and then tried to pipe on scales and details like the picture. I had bought a Dollar Tree piping bag to try, and it was the PITS. My frosting was too thick and it broke the "reusable" bag. I salvaged what frosting I could into a regular piping bag (because of course I got those too) and almost ran out. In retrospect I should have laid out my lines with a knife -- just sculpting it in the frosting before I piped on the lines. I've seen videos where they do that for details, and it's such a smart idea. Luckily Jane doesn't mind unrealistic scales! I also need to buy more couplers to use with the regular piping bags -- I only had one, even though I have many types of tips.

The finished product!

I made quite a mess of the kitchen and had enough frosting left over for the 10 extra cupcakes that I didn't use. (Nine are available for the party -- I snuck one of the butter yellow ones -- YUM.)

I used a cake box made for a sheet cake, and it worked fine. I didn't get the cake exactly centered, but it's not bad. The box was able to fold up around it, and there's a lid. I put the whole thing in the fridge -- will take it out before the party to come to room temperature, but this way it will stay fresher I guess?

Not sure how eating the cake will go, and I definitely could have made things neater and prettier (those scales will haunt me). But it was fun to research and execute, and Jane is happy! Hope it's a hit at the party!

A Perfect Age

The two-layer chocolate cake I made this morning.

Seven is my favorite number. I like crossing it when I write the numeral. I like 14 as well, which is 7+7. Jane thinks that's pretty funny -- that I have a favorite number plus I like its double. (She's learning about doubles now, in addition to lots of great math skills.)

Today Jane is 7.

I don't know that it will be the perfect age, but I know we will hold on by our fingernails and toenails whatever it brings us. After being sick last week she's been even grumpier and grouchier than usual. My Baby Center email today wishing her a happy birthday said seven is a great age -- kids are more independent but still look up to you and seek your guidance. Maybe Jane is ahead of the curve, because she HATES when I tell her what to do. So I'm doing my best to regulate myself and give her the chance to do what she needs to do without me nagging.

Jane and I ate lunch together at her school. It was fun to drop in and spend time with her in the middle of the day. She got new Chucks from her grandparents, something she'd wanted after seeing a classmate's high tops, so I wore mine too.

We're planning to hit up the Knock Knock Museum after school (there's a special mini book making class, and she can do it because she's not scheduled for play rehearsal today). Tonight we'll have supper at Red Robin ... yum! ... because we have a free kids meal coupon (and Jane loves it). We'll eat the cake and open presents from us this evening too.

The birthday party is Saturday. It's supposed to be dry but cold. We'll have a bouncer in the back yard (really hoping the lawn people will come and take care of the leaves and grass in time -- Shawn told them about the party, and it needs to be done). We'll have hot chocolate and hot popcorn plus inside activities. Oh, and I made a #7 pinata (which will be its own post). I'm trying to scale back the food -- was planning to do cheese, grapes and crackers in the shape of a 7, chips, carrots and ranch dip, etc. Of the 12 girls in Jane's class only 2 RSVP'ed (one yes, one no). Perhaps first grade is when all-class parties are less of a thing? We invited plenty of non-school friends, so we won't be alone at the party. But still a weird deal.

A birthday girl and a birthday balloon. My heart, my love, my baby girl.

Nightmares

We are on the other side of mid-terms; election results were not surprising to me. Here all of the people I voted for lost, and only a few of the amendment votes went the way I wanted. I'm heartened by the Democratic control of Congress, and I hope there will be SOME kind of check and balance of this terrifying, authoritarian presidency.

The most disheartening thing is the gerrymandering and how, once again, Democrat candidates as a whole received many more votes than Republicans. It's just that the Republicans drew the maps to be sure their candidates have a stronger hold. I realize a vote for Candidate A is not always a vote for Party B, but it's still a disgusting reminder of the crappiness of this system.

Some white guy on Twitter posted something like "elections are important, but remember than 99.9% of your every day life will not change based on what happens tonight." I saw that retweeted with comment so many times dissing it because what a privilege to say that. And that's *probably* true for me, but it would take one bad accident, one diagnosis, one job loss to put me in a bad situation. But even more than that I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE OTHER THAN MYSELF. I care deeply about the vulnerable populations of people who are being abused and mistreated by our government.

In another kind of nightmare, I had a "divorce dream," not necessarily about an actual divorce but certainly dreaming about Shawn leaving me for another, younger, beautiful woman. There's nothing in my life to suggest that actually happening other than my insecurities and general misfiring brain. But it still tinges my day with sadness even though it isn't real. The human brain is wild, man.

Mortality in a Kids Book

A Special Trade

Livia picked out this book when we were at the main library on Saturday. There was no reason to get it other than it was at her eye level and was small. She pulled it off the shelf and said "I want this one." So we checked it out.

It's pretty long/wordy, but a nice story. I was not prepared though because it's about a girl and her old man neighbor, their friendship and how it changes as she grows up and he gets even older. I started crying while reading it out loud for the first time.

[Spoiler] The old man doesn't die in the book, which was what I was expecting/why I was crying. He has to start using a wheelchair, so their roles reverse from when he pushed her around in her stroller to now her pushing his wheelchair. It was still pretty emotional, at least to me. There's nothing like being a snotty mess while your kids look at you like you're a lunatic!

Jane's reading progress now is about fluency and looking for messages in the books she reads. What was the author trying to say and do you have a personal connection to the story? Jane started talking about her personal connection about her Popeye and his recent health things. (He fell in an open manhole and had a kidney stone, both of which have worried Jane terribly -- he is on the mend now from both things!)

But then as that sat with me I started thinking about loss and explaining that to a kid. I was lucky enough that all four of my grandparents lived until I graduated high school. When I graduated college I was down to two living grandparents, and when I finished grad school I had only my Gran left. She died when Jane was 3, so she got to directly know and love the person who made me a mama. I know she loves/loved/will love Livia too.

I recently read a couple great books about death -- Smoke Gets in Your Eyes and From Here to Eternity, both by Caitlin Doughty -- so it's been on my mind, at least the back of my mind. But this was my first time really connecting the idea that my daughters will EXPERIENCE loss like that and it shook me a little bit. It's just the nature of life, and how things go. But it wasn't something I was expecting to be confronted with when reading to my girls from a random, 1978 library book.

Germs, Germs Go Away

© 2012 Dennis Skley, Flickr | CC-BY-ND | via Wylio

Shawn came home from his trip sounding worse than all of us -- coughing and very hoarse. I hope he gets better soon, and I pity his students who have to listen to him tomorrow. Jane returned to school today and is feeling better, although she's still having attitude issues -- just rage-y and very mad about things for no apparent reason. No sure if that has to do with being sick, being almost-7, Daddy being away for a few days, or too much Halloween candy. I am dealing with a raging headache and some cold symptoms, but nothing like the hard, hurting cough the others have ... so far.

So it seems like we're all on the mend, or at least not getting worse.

Until about 10:30 last night when I was getting into bed and Livia started crying. I went in and she was very warm. At first I thought it was being buried in blankets in too hot jams. I changed her dipe, cooled her off but she was still warm so got the thermometer -- 101 fever. Tylenol, cooler jams and back to bed. She cried off and on more in the night -- laid in our bed for a while before the Tylenol worked to break the fever and she wanted to get back in her crib to sleep.

This morning she woke up still warm, so more Tylenol. She was lethargic and didn't eat much breakfast. She laid on the couch and watched Daniel Tiger for an hour, then got up and played/acted almost normal. She ate a good lunch then took a solid nap. When I got her up for Jane's carpool she was happy and seemed fine. By the time we got back home she was very warm again -- 102! -- so more Tylenol and now she's back on the couch.

I have SO MUCH to do for Jane's party this Saturday (at our house/in the back yard so I need to clean the house/hide a lot of clutter and toys -- pray the forecast holds and no rain on Saturday so we can definitely be outside for the bounce house!). I can't really handle Livia being home from school and get everything I need to do done without driving myself crazy. So I guess crazy is what I'll be, at least tomorrow. And I hope Livia can fight off whatever new germ this is so she can get back to school for Wednesday and Thursday.

What to Expect at Trick-or-Treat Down the Row at LSU

I took the girls to Trick-or-Treat Down the Row at LSU's Sorority Row for the first time this year. I kept googling, thinking I would find a post about what to expect, where to park, etc. But nothing other than a few LSU communications posts that were vague and mainly about cute costumed kids and some departments that come out to pass out candy too. So I thought I'd write what I found out after checking it out last Sunday.

The parking was kind of a madhouse and what I was most worried about. We were lucky because Shawn just dropped us off then went to his office before picking us up. There's a parking lot by the U-Rec, the student recreation center - and where Shawn works out, very close to the south side of the row. We were able to pull in there so we could get the girls out of their car seats.

We were only able to stay for one hour, from 3-4, although the event goes 3-5. By the time we left in the middle the parking situation was insane -- people parked on the grass and lots completely full. There was a police officer at the barrier blocking the street for pedestrians, but it didn't seem like parking tickets were being given out. There might be more parking on the other side near U-High, but we only saw that end of things on foot and didn't make it to any parking lots.

The event itself was really fun, and an hour was almost enough time to see everything. The LSU athletic department was at the Lod Cook Hotel parking circle, at the opposite end of where we started. They had lots of activities that took more time, but Jane only did a couple (throwing a football with football players and bouncing a volleyball with volleyball players). If we hadn't been in a time crunch because of swim lessons at 4:30 we could have stayed until 5. Some of the houses had activities like crafts or face painting. The girls did one pumpkin craft but we didn't wait in any face paint lines (it would wash off at swimming anyway so I didn't have to fight with them about it).

We did go up to every house and get candy. For the most part the candy was just fine. When we sorted it -- mainly non-chocolate candies, although there were some Reese's and Snickers. The girls were just happy to have full pumpkins for their effort -- and they like non-chocolate candy just fine. At most of the houses the kids would stop at multiple girls (or boys) to get candy -- so each house could net several candy distributions. Some even let the kids reach their own hands in, which is a good deal for Liv who will take 1 or 2 and a bad deal for Jane who will grab as much as she can!

When we started there was a huge line at the first house on the row waiting for the 3 pm start time. Rather than wait in the line we walked to the second house, and were able to go up just before 3. We were in crowds, but we avoided having to wait very first thing. We hit the first house on our way back out so we got candy from every sorority/fraternity participating.

The costumes were really fun, and a lot of grown ups were dressed up too. We saw a LOT of other Wonder Women and Super Girls, including at least one dog dressed as Wonder Woman. Every time I'd say "Super Girls unite!" or "Wonder Women unite!" Some people thought it was funny, others didn't (including Jane!).

The weather was absolutely perfect -- warm enough but not quite hot with a light breeze. I should have worn sunscreen (I don't know what's wrong with me because I put sunscreen on the girls every day before school for their 15 minute recess!). We had the stroller so had water and a place to hang the buckets as they got heavy (and to push Liv as she couldn't walk the whole way). Walking back was faster because we walked on the sidewalk by the lake, away from the houses. It was still crowded with people, but we were able to maneuver back quickly enough to meet Shawn and scoot off to swim lessons.

If the weather and timing is right next year I definitely think we'll check out Trick-or-Treat down the Row at LSU again!

Routines, Not Just for Babies

Baby Feet

I loved being a mama to a baby, both times. Having a baby was so sweet and fun. I love sleeping through the night again, and having time to myself to work and write and shop. But there will never be a time in my life to compare to the bliss of being a true baby mama. (Liv and I have been watching videos on my phone, and we've scrolled back to many from her babyhood.)

One thing I was very good at (besides breastfeeding, which turned out to be a natural talent) was maintaining routines. We still stick to routines around here -- solid bedtime routine step-by-step, mealtimes together, do the same thing every Sunday, etc. It's not boring or monotonous, it just lets us all know what to expect.

And I for one find great comfort in that. Routine, schedule, knowing what to expect are all part of my preferences for how life should be and what makes me happiest/most comfortable.

I know routines can be broken without problem. We do have *some* flexibility of course. But I'm also finding that routines are good for more than just babies and kids. My routines make a difference to me, a positive difference mostly I'd say.

Beyond the typical grooming routines -- nightly shower, twice a day brushing, couple times a week hair washing and styling, etc. -- and daily coffee, I also am experiencing routines that are specific to this season.

One is the 90 Day Bible Challenge, which has been a really great thing for me. I want to actually finish it and reflect AFTER I'm done, but I'll say it's been a balm to read Scripture every day even when (or perhaps especially when) I don't understand.

And for six weeks of that challenge I was also doing a Cup of Our Life book study, which was more reading and intentional prayer and reflecting. I didn't do the study correctly, as I never set aside enough time, sometimes raced through the prompts, etc. But I always thought about the lessons and I certainly got something out of it. The routine of it all was important to me too.

So now I'm back to the NaBloPoMo routine, and firing up my computer every day. (I do turn it on most days, but some days I just don't need to because I can check any emails via phone or Kindle Fire.) This is day 3, so not really a routine, but it has made me start remembering things I wanted to write, realizing 30 days is a long time!

Flexibility, Lack Thereof

© 2006 herval, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

As a parent I should be used to last-minute changes of plan, and I guess I am. But I will never LIKE them. I like to plan things and get way too upset when things don't go the way I expected them to.

Jane has stayed home from school three of the five days this week, including today. I had to get groceries Tuesday evening rather than during the day as I'd planned, after I had to pick up Jane early from school (talking 8:30 a.m. early). (Thankfully Shawn wasn't on his trip yet.)

She rallied enough to go to to school on Wednesday, Halloween, because they could wear their costumes. But she didn't wear hers long, she said. She got hot and took it off (the rule was they had to wear uniforms under costumes, which is a good rule). The nurse called me at 2:30, just before carpool, to say Jane was still sick, but it wasn't fever, just cough and elevated pulse.

We took her trick-or-treating around our neighborhood, and she mostly rode in the stroller. It's tough pushing a 50+ pound kid! Liv didn't complain, although we did take turns carrying her since her stroller was occupied. For a while Jane said she didn't want to trick-or-treat, so I was dealing with my disappointment about missing it. I was glad she rallied enough for that, although I know she is really sick because she STILL hasn't sorted her candy!

Since she did trick-or-treating, I took her to school on Thursday, but within an hour the nurse called me again, suggesting I take her to the doctor. So we did that yesterday and Jane likely has a bacteria that's going around, and we have some medicine now. I got Livia some medicine too, because she has a cough too. I called the doctor for Liv after her teacher woke her up from her nap because she was coughing and made me pick her up (meaning no nap for Liv!). I guess it was to not wake up the other kids, but I was annoyed about that too!

Now today Jane still doesn't feel great. She's got a come-and-go cough (and when she coughs it sounds terrible), so Livia will miss her Spanish class because I don't have anyone to stay with Jane. Livia still has a come-and-go cough, but she's not acting like she's sick at all -- she's running around and being herself.

I have the beginnings of a chest cold too, but I don't feel that bad. Mainly annoyed at having plans dashed and that Jane is still sick despite staying home and resting. I really wanted to go to Livia's Spanish class (it was expensive and is only six weeks -- we have one more class next week), and I wanted to go to Walmart to look at their clearance Halloween costumes.

I just hope this medicine takes hold and makes the girls' coughs go away and for Jane to feel better. This is my first time being sick since I stopped nursing, so I can take whatever medicine I want...

Do I Write?

This is what I look like today.

I am a writer, and I'm even being paid for writing lately (well, I have an overdue invoice with the magazine, but in theory anyway -- and they are definitely publishing my writing). I haven't made time/haven't felt like writing much here. My girls do plenty of cute things still, and I could easily use this blog to document our lives.

For life documenting I still do the weekly email, which goes to both girls' private inboxes, with photos of our activities. I post frequently on Facebook in a "isn't my life fun" and "aren't I a good mom" type fashion. I use Twitter for bitching and moaning, and some light life documentation. I also try to amplify other voices on Twitter when they say things in ways I wish I would. (Amplify to my 3-4 regular followers, but amplify none-the-less.)

I haven't NOT written in November in a decade, right? I remember last year I made some mistakes and didn't do all the posts on the actual days, but otherwise I've been pretty consistent.

I still read a lot. (Catch me on Goodreads to see exactly what I've been reading.) I'm doing the 90 Day Bible Reading Challenge -- reading from Genesis to Revelation in 90 days. I've kept up, although certainly not understanding or retaining as much as I would with a deeper, slower study. (Although coming to understand the whole Babylon exile story line a bit more by slogging through the OT at a rapid pace.)

Reading Scripture anyway has sucked up time I would normally be scrolling social media (although I still do plenty of that), and in some places I can gain perspective -- the crumbling of our society due to fascist rule is not God's plan, but there's a larger arcing story. Not sure that's the message I'm meant to get, but there you go.

That's not to say I don't stay up twisted in knots about all the horrible policies, the racism, the sexism, misogyny and white supremacy that pervade the government and the awful, incompetent people in power. I do. I grieve for those who are impacted so much more than I am, and I know I'm not doing enough to make a difference.

So I write. And I guess I will write this month too.

Gak is Not Forever

Last week Livia started preschool, a 2-year-old program three days per week at a nearby church. We chose to have her stay for lunch and nap to give me more time to get some work done. (I have picked up a very part time writing job at a local magazine, but we decided to do the 9-2 hours from Minneapolis thinking we could always change to 9-12 later.) So far she is LOVING school, and staying for lunch (from her "womey-womey," aka Wonder Woman, lunch box!) and a rest/nap has been a treat for her.

We were down to one nursing per day, just before her nap. And on Monday 9/10 I nursed her for the last time before that nap. I didn't KNOW it would be the last, but I suspected it, and the tears began flowing. After school on Tuesday (when she didn't actually sleep at school), I asked if she wanted "gak" when we were home. She said yes, but then we got distracted by a Daniel Tiger episode (then carpool to get Jane -- half my day is spent in the car it seems!), and she just didn't nurse.

She didn't ask Wednesday or Thursday either and I didn't offer, and my emotional stability bottomed out. I cried throughout the day, at night and have been short-tempered (even more short-tempered than normal). I got into it with a teacher at the preschool carpool (to be fair she stuck her finger in my face to point to where she wanted me to go next time, but I did NOT react well or really safely given that I was driving a huge vehicle!), and I haven't been my best dealing with all the range of emotions and first-grader upsets that came my way.

Liv DID ask for gak on Friday when we were together again for nap time, but I told her the gak is all gone. (It really is, sad as I feel about it.) She said OK, and we rocked and sang. She eventually went to sleep in her crib (and she slept Wednesday and Thursday at school -- I think the trick is to let her take her shoes off!).

So we made it to 29 months of nursing, and when combined with the 26 months I nursed Jane I was a breastfeeding mom for four and a half years. (My blog post about nursing Jane ending is Num Nums are Not Forever -- funny that the girls had different names for nursing).

Nursing mama was a role I have played for more than half of my motherhood so far. I know it is a brief season in the scheme of it all. But it was so treasured, and I'm definitely grieving the end of it. I'm proud of myself for nourishing my girls in this way. They're both healthy and growing, and I have plenty of mothering left to do. But I still feel hollowed out from the transition.

Review: Stretched Too Thin

Stretched Too Thin: How Working Moms Can Lose the Guilt, Work Smarter, and Thrive by Jessica N. Turner
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Although I'm not a "working" mom like Jessica I did get a part-time job the day I received the book. This book is geared for "working" moms, and it has lots of good insight and tips. I think stay-at-home and part-time working moms would find value in it too. We can ALL get stretched too thin even without outside employment being one of the stretchers!

I've been a follower of Jessica's blog and online channels for several years, probably since my first daughter was born more than six years ago. I like The Mom Creative, her blog, and think Jessica is an inspiration in the mommy blogging world as she's transitioned as the Internet has changed and her children have grown. She's still got a full-time, regular day job and three kids, so she's definitely the right person to write this book!

Stretched Too Thin is not overly religious, although there are some comments about prayer and faith plus the social aspects and benefits of attending church. I share Jessica's faith, but I don't think someone of another faith would be put off by it. The book is written from a place of privilege and wealth, so some might not relate to that.

I liked the organization of the book and the helpful information and empowering phrases. As a nosy person who loves the voyeurism of blogs/online personas I especially liked the memoir-ish parts of the book and learning how Jessica and her husband met. It's not heavily memoir at all, but she does include anecdotes from her own life plus those from other women who responded to her survey. (I can't remember if I responded to the survey since I'm not "working," but I probably did back when she asked people to.)

I listened to this audio book via an ARC. I rarely listen to books because I don't have much occasion to be on my own in the car and headphones while around my kids don't work especially well either. But I liked making the time to listen and hearing Jessica's voice, which I know from her videos. I don't know if I'll do the journaling exercises, but I will go download the resources once available.

View all my reviews

Home

We are back in Baton Rouge, in our house, our home. Home is where my girls and Shawn are, but it's nice to be back with all our stuff. Jane is especially looking forward to seeing her friends and church family again. She actually said she's READY for school to start again, so maybe the short, two-month summer break isn't a bad thing after all.

Things I Missed While In Minneapolis:

• Our bed -- an iComfort with high thread count sheets
• Separate space for Livia to sleep
• Our laundry -- full size and fully vented so clothes are washed and dried in a SNAP
• My desk -- a dedicated place for my computer to live, with a comfortable chair and space for my accoutrements
• Covered parking right at my kitchen door -- in Minneapolis we parked on the opposite side of the building and one floor up, so door to car was an elevator ride and a block width away. Not ideal for toting groceries (or toddlers)
• My full range of kitchen utensils and appliances. I had to make a 2nd birthday cake without a mixer, and we only had small skillets that were hard to clean

Things I Did NOT Miss While In Minneapolis

• This stinky, steamy weather. There was a bit of warmth and humidity in MN, but it would dissipate after a few days, leading back to tolerably warm temps and lower humidity. The local weather there always talked about the humidity levels -- they don't even bother to mention that in the BR weather reports.
• The monotony/smallness of Baton Rouge and how weird I feel here.
• The lack of pools in Baton Rouge -- we are scheming to get invited to pools and deciding where we want to join to go to a pool. In the Twin Cities metro area we had our choice of splash pads and affordable pools/mini water parks to cool off (even when it wasn't THAT hot).
• Most of our STUFF -- I missed a few pieces of clothes and shoes, but I definitely didn't miss all the books and papers and TOYS that clutter our house. Of course we acquired a lot of things while in Minnesota, so it's a losing battle no matter where I am living.

This is just a quick, off-the-top-of-my-head list. And I'm sure I'll think of others!

No Baby Jails

If you're like me you've been deeply upset and shaken to the core by the news in the last week or so. I mean, the news has been bad for the last 18 months, but this was a new level of anxiety and terror and upset.

The Administration's "zero tolerance" policy for people coming to our border to be charged with a crime and jailed. Those traveling with children have the kids taken away and also jailed. There are CHILDREN IN CAGES who were put there by the U.S. government.

I've scrolled Twitter reading in horror and even seen a few posts on Facebook (my FB feed trends neutral since most people I know IRL are conservative to right wing and I've blocked most of their propaganda posts). I've had agitated conversations with my husband (just the awfulness/not that we disagree).

I know people in my life applaud the "zero tolerance" policy and separating families, and I honestly don't know how to reconcile that. It's been bad enough being family with people who celebrate white supremacy, bigotry, racism, sexism and hatred. Child abuse wasn't something I was expecting. How can you convince someone that other people matter?!?!?!

I do plan to gather the girls and take them with me to a protest next Saturday. I'm not sure how to explain this to Jane or what's really appropriate, but I also know we need to stand up for what's right. And this policy, even this backpedaling that's happened, just is not right. Families belong together (and NOT in jail for seeking asylum)!

Here are some of the tweets I've liked or retweeted over the past couple days:

Trump signed an executive order yesterday in the hopes that people would move on:

There are still babies in cages

There are still 2500 kids who have been separated from their parents

There is no plan to fix any of this

Things are as bad today as they were yesterday.

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) June 21, 2018

“We need to speak up because after they come for them they’ll come for us” is absolutely the wrong line of thinking. Absolutely positively.

We need to speak up because they are coming for anyone.

Full stop.

— Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg (@TheRaDR) June 20, 2018

The great @repjohnlewis is one of my all-time heroes. Thank you, Congressman: https://t.co/Ai6j59Ra75

— Chelsea Clinton (@ChelseaClinton) June 20, 2018

Make no mistake: Today’s executive order fails to address or end this moral crisis. It merely replaces the unacceptable evil of family separation with the unacceptable evil of child detention. https://t.co/eNPDcNhokM

— John Lewis (@repjohnlewis) June 20, 2018

In other words: the children who woke up in detention centers without their parents this morning will also go to sleep in detention centers without their parents tonight and for many nights to come, despite the paper the president signed this afternoon https://t.co/YfyrcbYO00

— Edward-Isaac Dovere (@IsaacDovere) June 20, 2018

hot tip: don't detain families either.

"but people illegally coming to the US will strain our social support structures blah blah blah my tax dollars abloo bloo bloo"

my dude, I've got bad news about where prisons get their funding from for you

— andröid wk (@UnburntWitch) June 20, 2018

Let’s not get sucked into a moral vortex where something less than diabolically evil is somehow acceptable.

If the new policy puts kids and parents in cages indefinitely that’s better than kids in cages alone, but still illegal and immoral.

— Chris Murphy (@ChrisMurphyCT) June 20, 2018

The phrase that keeps coming back to me this week is "hardened hearts." It goes hand-in-hand with the refusal to see others as fully human. And for Christians, that is also a refusal to look for the imago Dei in every child of God.

— Amy Sullivan (@sullivanamy) June 18, 2018

And this one, which is so true in my experience as a full-time caregiver I can feel it in my teeth:

I'm going to let you in on a big old secret no one talks about enough: it's not that easy keeping little kids alive, even when you love them with every cell in your body. Putting toddlers and young children in cages is a sure-fire recipe to kill a bunch of them

— Asher Wolf (@Asher_Wolf) June 20, 2018

And basically this:

I guess i'm a single issue voter now and the single issue is not putting babies in cages

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) June 20, 2018

Goodbye Fitness Tracking?

I really like my FitBit. I never connected with anyone on the app (I wasn't sure if other people could see my sleep patterns or weight inputs, etc.), but I thought it was fun to have the data and compare to myself, trying to motivate more movement.

I got the FitBit Flex as a gift from my mom in December 2015, just before Livia was born. It was exactly what I wanted and I loved it. I even wore it while in labor, to track my steps ... but it died. It OFTEN died, and there was never any warning or battery level indicator unless I connected to the app, which I didn't regularly do. So that was a negative, but I if charged it a couple times a week, it was enough so that it was usually working.

But the charger was not great. I complained on Twitter and got a replacement, but it wasn't any better. The design is just terrible. The actual FitBit doesn't fit snugly into the charger -- there's a tiny gap that prevents it from making contact with the charger without pressure. So I could push it in, hold it and it would start flashing that it was charging. But when I'd remove my hand it would lose the connection and stop. I would tap it in the charger and eventually get it to start charging, but it was always a several minute annoying routine.

I went through three of the plastic/rubber holder bracelets, and it was fun to order new ones. You can get knock off ones that work just as well as the more expensive FitBit branded ones. The connection for the bands is kind of weird -- a small metal piece that connects the two ends but is actually separate. So if it falls out (and sometimes it did) the band just comes off. I always noticed when that happened, and it didn't happen often, but just a weird design flaw.

I could connect to a FitBit app on my computer with the USB dongle. I liked that a lot, since I don't have the best phone (low memory and old/slow), although a phone connection was possible. I had to have WiFi for it to show me the steps even if it was connected via Bluetooth.

One of the deal blogs I read posted about a fitness tracker available on Amazon, this Wesoo Fitness Tracker. There was a coupon code so the tracker was only $20. (I know my refurbished Flex was more than that!) On paper it checked off a lot of boxes: the charging was direct USB -- just take the tracker off the band and plug it in, it showed the time (so I wouldn't also need to wear a separate watch) and had a battery indicator on the face of the watch, so I knew when to charge it. And its charging time was quick. The watch band works just like a normal watch, with the pin in the holes, so less likely to fall off.

The watch face was a great feature. It would come on MOST times that I moved my wrist in a "look at the time" motion. But I could not view it when in full sun, which happens more than I thought, since I have play group, field day and playgrounds, etc. So that was a drag.

The step count on the Wesoo was much higher than the FitBit. I'm not sure which was actually accurate. I know the FitBit will track "steps" when I crochet or rock, but it won't do steps when I'm pushing a cart or stroller (often), so I thought the Wesoo *might* be more accurate by counting the stroller steps, but some mornings the Wesoo would have steps counted before I got out of bed. (Up to 100!)

Another negative was that I couldn't connect it to my computer. The app on my phone worked OK, but as soon as I installed it my phone wouldn't connect to my car anymore to play music. I uninstalled and still couldn't make it work. It wasn't until I uninstalled the fitness app and re-installed an Android Auto app that I got the phone and car talking again. But that was the end of my use of the fitness tracker, since there's not a way to view my steps or data over time.

Maybe I will try again when I get a new phone, or maybe this is really goodbye to fitness tracking. I really need to get back in a gym routine with weights and cardio...

Read: Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again

Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again by Rachel Held Evans
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A new book from Rachel Held Evans? I'm in! I've read all her previous work, and I can't remember quite how I first heard of her writing. Probably through her blog.

This book approaches a lot of questions I wrestle with about the Bible (genocide, slavery and submissiveness for women to name a few). There are answers and more questions, but I'm especially drawn to the memoir parts, where Rachel writes about her life and faith journey. This book is so much more than that with lots of research and sources that could keep a person reading for ages! (Relate-able line in the book: "I know I can’t read my way out of this dilemma, but that won’t keep me from trying.")

"Inspired" is organized around different Bible story types, including familiar stories rewritten from various perspectives that are really engaging. The final chapter addressing Paul and his writings was particularly meaningful to me, but they're all, well, inspiring.

I would recommend "Inspired" to anyone wondering about the many contradictions in the Christian Bible and how to hold those while maintaining faith in a loving, good Creator. The Bible is a collection of stories that together point to an overarching story, a story that I cannot quit or dismiss. A story around which I try to build my life and in which I'm raising my girls.

I finished the book in tears (maybe because of the dedication to her family and son), and looking back at my blog about reading her previous books it seems that's a theme: crying my contacts out when I finish an RHE book! (Still waiting for a truly motherhood-focused book, although I'm sure I'd cry the entire way through that one!)

I received an Advance Reader Copy of the book from the publisher. The book will be released June 12. (I also bought myself a hard copy that will come next month!) You can pre-order here: https://rachelheldevans.com/inspired.

View all my reviews

Lego Crayons: Treasure from Trash

A family who was also visiting "the U" left earlier this month and passed along some things they had acquired: crayons and books. The books were from a Little Free Library, so back there they will go. But the crayons were ROUGH, and we already had multiple bags of crayons, including a new box that we got at the Crayola Experience (so much fun). I had never seen so many broken crayons -- in this whole big bag I found three that were intact. The family is three boys (2, 4 and 12), but I was still surprised that most were snapped entirely. I knew my girls wouldn't use them, but what to do, what to do?

I'd made melted crayons before, when Jane was littler, and had just used a muffin tin. They'd turned into chunks that Jane played with as cookies and weren't that useful for coloring. It was a failed attempt at reusing old crayons. But after seeing the fun shapes we could make with melted wax at the Crayola Experience (bull, ring and car), I did some more googling and Amazon shopping and got some Lego-shaped silicone molds to give it another try. I did the first batch on my own, just to make sure it would work.

To unwrap the crayons I found that soaking them in warm water with dish soap worked best. I tried X-acto knife, but it wasn't as effective. Crayons from the Crayola Experience (with custom labels) wouldn't let go of their labels -- they were sticky all the way around, and normal labels are just sticky on the parts that touch the rest of the label and came off easily. So I had to trash some of the crayons anyway.

I separated the crayons by color and snapped them to fit into the molds, overfilling to allow the melted wax to fill the mold. I put the molds onto a cookie sheet for ease of in-out of the oven. The second batch I put foil on the pan to keep it clean. Important step!

I started with a low oven, about 200, but later found that higher, 250 or even 300, gave better results (and faster). It took about 30 minutes, and the smaller ones melted and filled faster than the large Lego guy (who is the favorite plaything!). I checked every 10 minutes, and stirring with a chopstick helped the last bits melt for the big guy. I let them cool completely -- I put one in the freezer and it definitely speeds things up but you need to pull them out of the freezer and let them come back to room temperature before you unmold because they're too old and will snap. (Ask me how I know... although I re-melted that guy in the next attempt and he was fine.)

Even Shawn was impressed and has been trying to think of whether we could make our own molds. We've taken what's basically trash (nubs and scrubs of crayons that we'd never use) into treasure, or at least some toys the girls will play with. They've "built" with the Lego bricks (they don't snap together since they're flat on the bottom) and had adventures with the little guys. They've colored with them a bit, mostly to smooth out the feet and make them more even. I think trying mixed colors and watching carefully before they swirl would be fun. We have a TON more crummy crayons at home in BR, so that's one more reason to look forward to going back! These would be so fun as birthday favors or just give-aways to classmates.

Edit to add: Washable crayons don't work as well. They work, but the washable part will separate and float to the top, leaving a milky top layer that won't color at all. We have a few guys with that on their back, and Jane's solution is to shave it away (in theory ... we haven't done it yet). 

Marching

We weren't able to march today, but we support March for Our Lives and gun control reforms.

We will continue to resist. Also: Black Lives Matter.

(Fun aside: marching has been a theme in our house lately, as we've fallen in love with the Laurie Berkner Band, especially her song We Are the Dinosaurs.)

Laundry Cycles

I still read a lot of blogs (praise be to Feedly for filling in after Google Reader died - RIP). Recently one savings/couponing blog wrote a post about a not-worth-it product. It was about a laundry divider that ended up not working (too big, so heavy when full of laundry and not breathable so got mold on the inside). She ended the post with a question for readers to share their laundry basket tips because she threw that one to the curb!

I went to post my comment and saw there were already 99 comments! Who knew laundry would be such a conversation starter?! Instead of writing out a comment I decided to hold the idea and just write my own post about it, as it ties into my ongoing struggle with laundry here in our sabbatical apartment.

My system at home is great. My husband built a wooden rolling cart that holds a mesh divided-in-two pop up laundry hamper. We sort lights and darks there (undies kept separate for their own load, a tip from my sister that I never would have done otherwise). Then I can wheel the whole cart to our laundry room for weekly washing, almost always Saturday -- four loads with lights, darks, jeans and undies. I have a separate regular plastic basket for towels (dirties only) and do that wash about twice a week (after my breastfeeding yeast stuff I go through a LOT of towels). Each girl has her own smaller pop-up mesh hamper and I wash their clothes separately -- a load per girl, also about once a week, sometimes on Saturdays but also other days -- they each have a lot of clothes and could easily go 2-3 weeks before NEEDING clean laundry.

Laundry never felt daunting, per se, at home, although the folding and putting away is never my favorite chore. Hanging up stuff is the worst, and I keep a lot of things hanging because I hate ironing even more. We have a huge washer and dryer -- side by side and front loading, and they're raised on pedestal drawers, so the strain on my back is minimal even moving wet towels or jeans from washer to dryer. I can do huge loads, and get almost all the laundry done in one long day of washing.

In this little apartment things are different. I get the lamenting and struggle of "the laundry is never done"! We are also in a colder climate, which means more layers, effectively doubling or tripling the laundry output! (Although we don't wash the outer layers often, and even the middle layers can be worn two or three times before washing ... except for the girls who are prone to spill ... who are we kidding, I spill a lot on myself too!)

The washer and dryer here are in the unit, which is a blessing, as I remember lugging laundry up and down to the basement in NYC (don't get me started about the bed bugs!) and to a completely different building during undergrad and grad school apartment living! They are stackable front loaders here, and in a small closet. But they're not at an outside wall, which means the dryer is "self-venting." This also means that the clothes don't get dry quickly ... and sometimes at all. The dryer has some kind of moisture sensor and if it thinks things are dry it won't dry anymore even if they feel slightly damp to the touch. At that point I have to shake them out and hang them or hope for the best. (At least the air is dry here and mold isn't really an issue like it is at home in the swampy south.)

The actual machines are very small, which means about half-size loads that I'm used to at home. I'm washing the girls clothes 2-3 times per week to stay ahead of it. They have fewer clothes here (although I'm always shopping ... at first to get more warmer clothes and now to give Jane more choices and to size up for Liv who keeps hulking out of her pants!).

Basically I'm ALWAYS doing laundry now. It's not the end of the world, of course, and I can stay on top of it without a whole lot of effort. But it's still a constant hum in my brain. And I regret ever scoffing at the memes or comments of complaint. Also, before we know it I'll be back in my big suburban lifestyle and missing all the brilliant parts of apartment and city living...

One Third

We are just over a third of the way thru our six month sabbatical. We've seen a lot and done many things in our time in the Twin Cities, but there still feels like so much more to go, and so many more things I want to check off my list.