Review: Stretched Too Thin

Stretched Too Thin: How Working Moms Can Lose the Guilt, Work Smarter, and Thrive by Jessica N. Turner
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Although I'm not a "working" mom like Jessica I did get a part-time job the day I received the book. This book is geared for "working" moms, and it has lots of good insight and tips. I think stay-at-home and part-time working moms would find value in it too. We can ALL get stretched too thin even without outside employment being one of the stretchers!

I've been a follower of Jessica's blog and online channels for several years, probably since my first daughter was born more than six years ago. I like The Mom Creative, her blog, and think Jessica is an inspiration in the mommy blogging world as she's transitioned as the Internet has changed and her children have grown. She's still got a full-time, regular day job and three kids, so she's definitely the right person to write this book!

Stretched Too Thin is not overly religious, although there are some comments about prayer and faith plus the social aspects and benefits of attending church. I share Jessica's faith, but I don't think someone of another faith would be put off by it. The book is written from a place of privilege and wealth, so some might not relate to that.

I liked the organization of the book and the helpful information and empowering phrases. As a nosy person who loves the voyeurism of blogs/online personas I especially liked the memoir-ish parts of the book and learning how Jessica and her husband met. It's not heavily memoir at all, but she does include anecdotes from her own life plus those from other women who responded to her survey. (I can't remember if I responded to the survey since I'm not "working," but I probably did back when she asked people to.)

I listened to this audio book via an ARC. I rarely listen to books because I don't have much occasion to be on my own in the car and headphones while around my kids don't work especially well either. But I liked making the time to listen and hearing Jessica's voice, which I know from her videos. I don't know if I'll do the journaling exercises, but I will go download the resources once available.

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Home

We are back in Baton Rouge, in our house, our home. Home is where my girls and Shawn are, but it's nice to be back with all our stuff. Jane is especially looking forward to seeing her friends and church family again. She actually said she's READY for school to start again, so maybe the short, two-month summer break isn't a bad thing after all.

Things I Missed While In Minneapolis:

• Our bed -- an iComfort with high thread count sheets
• Separate space for Livia to sleep
• Our laundry -- full size and fully vented so clothes are washed and dried in a SNAP
• My desk -- a dedicated place for my computer to live, with a comfortable chair and space for my accoutrements
• Covered parking right at my kitchen door -- in Minneapolis we parked on the opposite side of the building and one floor up, so door to car was an elevator ride and a block width away. Not ideal for toting groceries (or toddlers)
• My full range of kitchen utensils and appliances. I had to make a 2nd birthday cake without a mixer, and we only had small skillets that were hard to clean

Things I Did NOT Miss While In Minneapolis

• This stinky, steamy weather. There was a bit of warmth and humidity in MN, but it would dissipate after a few days, leading back to tolerably warm temps and lower humidity. The local weather there always talked about the humidity levels -- they don't even bother to mention that in the BR weather reports.
• The monotony/smallness of Baton Rouge and how weird I feel here.
• The lack of pools in Baton Rouge -- we are scheming to get invited to pools and deciding where we want to join to go to a pool. In the Twin Cities metro area we had our choice of splash pads and affordable pools/mini water parks to cool off (even when it wasn't THAT hot).
• Most of our STUFF -- I missed a few pieces of clothes and shoes, but I definitely didn't miss all the books and papers and TOYS that clutter our house. Of course we acquired a lot of things while in Minnesota, so it's a losing battle no matter where I am living.

This is just a quick, off-the-top-of-my-head list. And I'm sure I'll think of others!

No Baby Jails

If you're like me you've been deeply upset and shaken to the core by the news in the last week or so. I mean, the news has been bad for the last 18 months, but this was a new level of anxiety and terror and upset.

The Administration's "zero tolerance" policy for people coming to our border to be charged with a crime and jailed. Those traveling with children have the kids taken away and also jailed. There are CHILDREN IN CAGES who were put there by the U.S. government.

I've scrolled Twitter reading in horror and even seen a few posts on Facebook (my FB feed trends neutral since most people I know IRL are conservative to right wing and I've blocked most of their propaganda posts). I've had agitated conversations with my husband (just the awfulness/not that we disagree).

I know people in my life applaud the "zero tolerance" policy and separating families, and I honestly don't know how to reconcile that. It's been bad enough being family with people who celebrate white supremacy, bigotry, racism, sexism and hatred. Child abuse wasn't something I was expecting. How can you convince someone that other people matter?!?!?!

I do plan to gather the girls and take them with me to a protest next Saturday. I'm not sure how to explain this to Jane or what's really appropriate, but I also know we need to stand up for what's right. And this policy, even this backpedaling that's happened, just is not right. Families belong together (and NOT in jail for seeking asylum)!

Here are some of the tweets I've liked or retweeted over the past couple days:

Trump signed an executive order yesterday in the hopes that people would move on:

There are still babies in cages

There are still 2500 kids who have been separated from their parents

There is no plan to fix any of this

Things are as bad today as they were yesterday.

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) June 21, 2018

“We need to speak up because after they come for them they’ll come for us” is absolutely the wrong line of thinking. Absolutely positively.

We need to speak up because they are coming for anyone.

Full stop.

— Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg (@TheRaDR) June 20, 2018

The great @repjohnlewis is one of my all-time heroes. Thank you, Congressman: https://t.co/Ai6j59Ra75

— Chelsea Clinton (@ChelseaClinton) June 20, 2018

Make no mistake: Today’s executive order fails to address or end this moral crisis. It merely replaces the unacceptable evil of family separation with the unacceptable evil of child detention. https://t.co/eNPDcNhokM

— John Lewis (@repjohnlewis) June 20, 2018

In other words: the children who woke up in detention centers without their parents this morning will also go to sleep in detention centers without their parents tonight and for many nights to come, despite the paper the president signed this afternoon https://t.co/YfyrcbYO00

— Edward-Isaac Dovere (@IsaacDovere) June 20, 2018

hot tip: don't detain families either.

"but people illegally coming to the US will strain our social support structures blah blah blah my tax dollars abloo bloo bloo"

my dude, I've got bad news about where prisons get their funding from for you

— andröid wk (@UnburntWitch) June 20, 2018

Let’s not get sucked into a moral vortex where something less than diabolically evil is somehow acceptable.

If the new policy puts kids and parents in cages indefinitely that’s better than kids in cages alone, but still illegal and immoral.

— Chris Murphy (@ChrisMurphyCT) June 20, 2018

The phrase that keeps coming back to me this week is "hardened hearts." It goes hand-in-hand with the refusal to see others as fully human. And for Christians, that is also a refusal to look for the imago Dei in every child of God.

— Amy Sullivan (@sullivanamy) June 18, 2018

And this one, which is so true in my experience as a full-time caregiver I can feel it in my teeth:

I'm going to let you in on a big old secret no one talks about enough: it's not that easy keeping little kids alive, even when you love them with every cell in your body. Putting toddlers and young children in cages is a sure-fire recipe to kill a bunch of them

— Asher Wolf (@Asher_Wolf) June 20, 2018

And basically this:

I guess i'm a single issue voter now and the single issue is not putting babies in cages

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) June 20, 2018

Goodbye Fitness Tracking?

I really like my FitBit. I never connected with anyone on the app (I wasn't sure if other people could see my sleep patterns or weight inputs, etc.), but I thought it was fun to have the data and compare to myself, trying to motivate more movement.

I got the FitBit Flex as a gift from my mom in December 2015, just before Livia was born. It was exactly what I wanted and I loved it. I even wore it while in labor, to track my steps ... but it died. It OFTEN died, and there was never any warning or battery level indicator unless I connected to the app, which I didn't regularly do. So that was a negative, but I if charged it a couple times a week, it was enough so that it was usually working.

But the charger was not great. I complained on Twitter and got a replacement, but it wasn't any better. The design is just terrible. The actual FitBit doesn't fit snugly into the charger -- there's a tiny gap that prevents it from making contact with the charger without pressure. So I could push it in, hold it and it would start flashing that it was charging. But when I'd remove my hand it would lose the connection and stop. I would tap it in the charger and eventually get it to start charging, but it was always a several minute annoying routine.

I went through three of the plastic/rubber holder bracelets, and it was fun to order new ones. You can get knock off ones that work just as well as the more expensive FitBit branded ones. The connection for the bands is kind of weird -- a small metal piece that connects the two ends but is actually separate. So if it falls out (and sometimes it did) the band just comes off. I always noticed when that happened, and it didn't happen often, but just a weird design flaw.

I could connect to a FitBit app on my computer with the USB dongle. I liked that a lot, since I don't have the best phone (low memory and old/slow), although a phone connection was possible. I had to have WiFi for it to show me the steps even if it was connected via Bluetooth.

One of the deal blogs I read posted about a fitness tracker available on Amazon, this Wesoo Fitness Tracker. There was a coupon code so the tracker was only $20. (I know my refurbished Flex was more than that!) On paper it checked off a lot of boxes: the charging was direct USB -- just take the tracker off the band and plug it in, it showed the time (so I wouldn't also need to wear a separate watch) and had a battery indicator on the face of the watch, so I knew when to charge it. And its charging time was quick. The watch band works just like a normal watch, with the pin in the holes, so less likely to fall off.

The watch face was a great feature. It would come on MOST times that I moved my wrist in a "look at the time" motion. But I could not view it when in full sun, which happens more than I thought, since I have play group, field day and playgrounds, etc. So that was a drag.

The step count on the Wesoo was much higher than the FitBit. I'm not sure which was actually accurate. I know the FitBit will track "steps" when I crochet or rock, but it won't do steps when I'm pushing a cart or stroller (often), so I thought the Wesoo *might* be more accurate by counting the stroller steps, but some mornings the Wesoo would have steps counted before I got out of bed. (Up to 100!)

Another negative was that I couldn't connect it to my computer. The app on my phone worked OK, but as soon as I installed it my phone wouldn't connect to my car anymore to play music. I uninstalled and still couldn't make it work. It wasn't until I uninstalled the fitness app and re-installed an Android Auto app that I got the phone and car talking again. But that was the end of my use of the fitness tracker, since there's not a way to view my steps or data over time.

Maybe I will try again when I get a new phone, or maybe this is really goodbye to fitness tracking. I really need to get back in a gym routine with weights and cardio...

Read: Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again

Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again by Rachel Held Evans
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A new book from Rachel Held Evans? I'm in! I've read all her previous work, and I can't remember quite how I first heard of her writing. Probably through her blog.

This book approaches a lot of questions I wrestle with about the Bible (genocide, slavery and submissiveness for women to name a few). There are answers and more questions, but I'm especially drawn to the memoir parts, where Rachel writes about her life and faith journey. This book is so much more than that with lots of research and sources that could keep a person reading for ages! (Relate-able line in the book: "I know I can’t read my way out of this dilemma, but that won’t keep me from trying.")

"Inspired" is organized around different Bible story types, including familiar stories rewritten from various perspectives that are really engaging. The final chapter addressing Paul and his writings was particularly meaningful to me, but they're all, well, inspiring.

I would recommend "Inspired" to anyone wondering about the many contradictions in the Christian Bible and how to hold those while maintaining faith in a loving, good Creator. The Bible is a collection of stories that together point to an overarching story, a story that I cannot quit or dismiss. A story around which I try to build my life and in which I'm raising my girls.

I finished the book in tears (maybe because of the dedication to her family and son), and looking back at my blog about reading her previous books it seems that's a theme: crying my contacts out when I finish an RHE book! (Still waiting for a truly motherhood-focused book, although I'm sure I'd cry the entire way through that one!)

I received an Advance Reader Copy of the book from the publisher. The book will be released June 12. (I also bought myself a hard copy that will come next month!) You can pre-order here: https://rachelheldevans.com/inspired.

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Lego Crayons: Treasure from Trash

A family who was also visiting "the U" left earlier this month and passed along some things they had acquired: crayons and books. The books were from a Little Free Library, so back there they will go. But the crayons were ROUGH, and we already had multiple bags of crayons, including a new box that we got at the Crayola Experience (so much fun). I had never seen so many broken crayons -- in this whole big bag I found three that were intact. The family is three boys (2, 4 and 12), but I was still surprised that most were snapped entirely. I knew my girls wouldn't use them, but what to do, what to do?

I'd made melted crayons before, when Jane was littler, and had just used a muffin tin. They'd turned into chunks that Jane played with as cookies and weren't that useful for coloring. It was a failed attempt at reusing old crayons. But after seeing the fun shapes we could make with melted wax at the Crayola Experience (bull, ring and car), I did some more googling and Amazon shopping and got some Lego-shaped silicone molds to give it another try. I did the first batch on my own, just to make sure it would work.

To unwrap the crayons I found that soaking them in warm water with dish soap worked best. I tried X-acto knife, but it wasn't as effective. Crayons from the Crayola Experience (with custom labels) wouldn't let go of their labels -- they were sticky all the way around, and normal labels are just sticky on the parts that touch the rest of the label and came off easily. So I had to trash some of the crayons anyway.

I separated the crayons by color and snapped them to fit into the molds, overfilling to allow the melted wax to fill the mold. I put the molds onto a cookie sheet for ease of in-out of the oven. The second batch I put foil on the pan to keep it clean. Important step!

I started with a low oven, about 200, but later found that higher, 250 or even 300, gave better results (and faster). It took about 30 minutes, and the smaller ones melted and filled faster than the large Lego guy (who is the favorite plaything!). I checked every 10 minutes, and stirring with a chopstick helped the last bits melt for the big guy. I let them cool completely -- I put one in the freezer and it definitely speeds things up but you need to pull them out of the freezer and let them come back to room temperature before you unmold because they're too old and will snap. (Ask me how I know... although I re-melted that guy in the next attempt and he was fine.)

Even Shawn was impressed and has been trying to think of whether we could make our own molds. We've taken what's basically trash (nubs and scrubs of crayons that we'd never use) into treasure, or at least some toys the girls will play with. They've "built" with the Lego bricks (they don't snap together since they're flat on the bottom) and had adventures with the little guys. They've colored with them a bit, mostly to smooth out the feet and make them more even. I think trying mixed colors and watching carefully before they swirl would be fun. We have a TON more crummy crayons at home in BR, so that's one more reason to look forward to going back! These would be so fun as birthday favors or just give-aways to classmates.

Edit to add: Washable crayons don't work as well. They work, but the washable part will separate and float to the top, leaving a milky top layer that won't color at all. We have a few guys with that on their back, and Jane's solution is to shave it away (in theory ... we haven't done it yet). 

Marching

We weren't able to march today, but we support March for Our Lives and gun control reforms.

We will continue to resist. Also: Black Lives Matter.

(Fun aside: marching has been a theme in our house lately, as we've fallen in love with the Laurie Berkner Band, especially her song We Are the Dinosaurs.)

Laundry Cycles

I still read a lot of blogs (praise be to Feedly for filling in after Google Reader died - RIP). Recently one savings/couponing blog wrote a post about a not-worth-it product. It was about a laundry divider that ended up not working (too big, so heavy when full of laundry and not breathable so got mold on the inside). She ended the post with a question for readers to share their laundry basket tips because she threw that one to the curb!

I went to post my comment and saw there were already 99 comments! Who knew laundry would be such a conversation starter?! Instead of writing out a comment I decided to hold the idea and just write my own post about it, as it ties into my ongoing struggle with laundry here in our sabbatical apartment.

My system at home is great. My husband built a wooden rolling cart that holds a mesh divided-in-two pop up laundry hamper. We sort lights and darks there (undies kept separate for their own load, a tip from my sister that I never would have done otherwise). Then I can wheel the whole cart to our laundry room for weekly washing, almost always Saturday -- four loads with lights, darks, jeans and undies. I have a separate regular plastic basket for towels (dirties only) and do that wash about twice a week (after my breastfeeding yeast stuff I go through a LOT of towels). Each girl has her own smaller pop-up mesh hamper and I wash their clothes separately -- a load per girl, also about once a week, sometimes on Saturdays but also other days -- they each have a lot of clothes and could easily go 2-3 weeks before NEEDING clean laundry.

Laundry never felt daunting, per se, at home, although the folding and putting away is never my favorite chore. Hanging up stuff is the worst, and I keep a lot of things hanging because I hate ironing even more. We have a huge washer and dryer -- side by side and front loading, and they're raised on pedestal drawers, so the strain on my back is minimal even moving wet towels or jeans from washer to dryer. I can do huge loads, and get almost all the laundry done in one long day of washing.

In this little apartment things are different. I get the lamenting and struggle of "the laundry is never done"! We are also in a colder climate, which means more layers, effectively doubling or tripling the laundry output! (Although we don't wash the outer layers often, and even the middle layers can be worn two or three times before washing ... except for the girls who are prone to spill ... who are we kidding, I spill a lot on myself too!)

The washer and dryer here are in the unit, which is a blessing, as I remember lugging laundry up and down to the basement in NYC (don't get me started about the bed bugs!) and to a completely different building during undergrad and grad school apartment living! They are stackable front loaders here, and in a small closet. But they're not at an outside wall, which means the dryer is "self-venting." This also means that the clothes don't get dry quickly ... and sometimes at all. The dryer has some kind of moisture sensor and if it thinks things are dry it won't dry anymore even if they feel slightly damp to the touch. At that point I have to shake them out and hang them or hope for the best. (At least the air is dry here and mold isn't really an issue like it is at home in the swampy south.)

The actual machines are very small, which means about half-size loads that I'm used to at home. I'm washing the girls clothes 2-3 times per week to stay ahead of it. They have fewer clothes here (although I'm always shopping ... at first to get more warmer clothes and now to give Jane more choices and to size up for Liv who keeps hulking out of her pants!).

Basically I'm ALWAYS doing laundry now. It's not the end of the world, of course, and I can stay on top of it without a whole lot of effort. But it's still a constant hum in my brain. And I regret ever scoffing at the memes or comments of complaint. Also, before we know it I'll be back in my big suburban lifestyle and missing all the brilliant parts of apartment and city living...

One Third

We are just over a third of the way thru our six month sabbatical. We've seen a lot and done many things in our time in the Twin Cities, but there still feels like so much more to go, and so many more things I want to check off my list.

Crochet: Little Big Rib Scarf

She likes it!

The cold weather here is inspiring for my crochet fingers because we can actually wear/use things like scarves, hats and cowls.

I bought Jane a big, soft Cat & Jack fleece cowl (circle scarf) at Target for Christmas. She really likes it (and we've only lost it once so far -- thankfully the restaurant kept it for us until we realized it was missing and called to check if they had it!), but she also wanted a "real" scarf that you can tie like "everyone else" at school has.

I was happy to oblige. I ordered some Red Heart Gumdrop yarn on Amazon, just because I was itching to crochet and it was an "add on" item to go with some razors I restocked. I didn't have this scarf in mind, but once I had the yarn I figured I would use one of the skeins to make something for Jane because it's a fun, multicolored yarn. The colors are Rock Candy and Cherry.

I searched for different scarf patterns, mainly looking for something with warmth. You can never go wrong with Moogly, and her Big Rib Scarf's simple stitch pattern was no different. It's basically back-loop-only double crochet, and I just made the starting chain (actually foundation double crochet) shorter to suit Jane's height. As per the design I held two strands of the two colorways together with a large (J) hook for a thick, cushy and quick fabric. I did fewer repeats of the stitch to make a narrower scarf, just to keep the proportions right for Jane. I added crab stitch/reverse single crochet edging around to even things out and make it look a bit neater (that's a flaw of the crocheter, not the pattern designer I'm afraid).

Jane can wear the scarf knotted, like in the picture, or just barely she could fold it over and pull the ends through for a double thickness all around her neck. She ties it herself in any case. There's no way to label it, so if it gets lost at school it might not make it back to us, but I can always make another...

There was enough left on the skeins to make a quick, short cowl for Liv. She shouldn't really have anything tight around her neck, but I worry about the blowing wind and wanted SOMETHING for her. Plus she really wanted one! I don't have a picture of it yet, but it's just three rows of the BLO double crochet stitch, so narrower, and I sewed the ends together to make a cowl. I didn't have enough left to do the crab stitch edging, but that's OK for her.

Little "Big Rib Scarf"

Climate Acclimation

I grew up in southwest Oklahoma, which certainly gets cold, but I don't remember using lotion on any regular basis. When I was little I know I had rough elbows, which I believed to be from laying on the carpet on my stomach, so perhaps I did need lotion somewhat. But when I was in high school and playing basketball (season mostly in winter) if I did put on lotion I'd feel greasy and gross on my legs so I just didn't use it and didn't mind or need it. The water at home is very soft, so that may have had something to do with it too.

When I went to college a few hours north of home the weather was a little colder in the winter, and the water was much harder in the dorm. My skin revolted and was itchy and felt weird. I couldn't figure out what the deal was until my middle school-age cousin said "use lotion."

Duh.

I started using lotion, and it certainly made a difference. I don't really use lotion that much in Baton Rouge, just because of the humidity levels and my skin being OK without it.

An exception to this is my facial moisturizer, which I've been doing for years -- the Clinique yellow stuff moisturizer and in the last few years an eye cream from Clinique too, plus Argan oil that I dab under/in my nose as a preventive measure because even if my skin is fine sometimes my nose gets dry and gross.

In the ~2 weeks we've been in Minneapolis we've definitely stepped up our moisturizer game as a family. Liv always got lotion after a bath, but for Jane we'd kind of slacked. No more -- they're both slathered after a bath or shower, and I put a bottle of Aveeno lotion in their bathroom to use after every hand washing. (I used the rubber band trick to make each squirt only half a pump since their hands are so small.) The girls have also had some chapped skin -- Jane on her hands, Liv's on her cheeks -- and CeraVe ointment has done wonders, really making a difference overnight, and it's not too greasy once it sinks in. Shawn has been using it a lot on his hands too.

I can tell the difference in the air because of my skin after the shower. At home I can't always tell if I've put on my face lotion, but here my skin drinks it up and is definitely tighter/uncomfortable without it. And if I don't put lotion on my body it's a little itchy (not like the college-era itch, but that probably built up over a few days or weeks). I'll go through my moisturizer faster (that Clinique stuff isn't cheap), but it's worth it for comfort and skin protection.

No product in hair - washed last night.
Could use some actual makeup.

So far I'm having trouble remembering to sunscreen up, even though it's only our faces showing there's so much white from the snow and the sun is so bright that we'll definitely get burned if we're out for any amount of time. I sent a sunscreen stick with Jane for her recess and she puts it on her face herself. Such a responsible girl.

My hair can tell the difference too. I'm washing with random Pantene that I bought for Shawn (the siren song of the Target gift card if I bought four bottles was too much for me), so that's a little different, but I'm pretty sure it's the climate and air. My hair isn't as puffy and without any curl enhancing product it is going flatter and straighter, although not straight by any means. I think it will be easier to run a flat iron through and get a straight style to last. I need to work up the energy for that effort though.

(This has been an entry for the world's most boring blog post...)

A Bus Rider

Jane  has decided she wants to ride the bus to and from school. It's about a mile away, and bus service is part of free public education here.

Yesterday morning the bus didn't stop for her as it was supposed to so we drove her in. She was really upset, as upset as she was when she found out she couldn't start school on Monday. But she DID get to ride home on the bus, and that was "amazing," she said.

She told me about the ride and how her friend from class, Braden, helped her know where to go and so the other kids on the bus said "Braden's got a girlfriend." UGH. She thought it was funny and said he's her best friend.

Before he let her get off, the bus driver confirmed her address with me. I asked if it was the same place he would pick up in the morning. He said "no," shut his window and drove off!

This morning, it was snowing, and I was glad to not have to drive her to school on possibly slick streets. I still have to bundle up Livia and put her in the stroller, and we waited on the street for a few minutes since we didn't know EXACTLY where the bus would stop (the stop the school gave us is wrong, wrong, wrong).

We ended up having to run to catch the bus as it sped past us and stopped half a block down. I don't know if that's where it normally stops OR if it stopped because we chased it. The driver (not the same one as the afternoon route) acted like he didn't know there was a new kid to pick up.

Bureaucracy.

BUT Jane got on the bus and presumably made it to school, since the bus sign said her school name, I told the driver where she was going AND I haven't received a call that she didn't make it in! It's still so weird to be a step removed from Jane's school life. I know it's normal, but the weather and the newness of our living situation are combining to make some serious anxiety for me.

Also, I didn't get a picture when she got on the bus for the first time (since that happened at school). I didn't get a picture of her getting OFF the bus the first time because I was on the wrong side of the street (waiting at the stop the school gave us). And I didn't get a picture when she got on TODAY because I was running my fat ass down the road and then talking to the driver. Will try again today, but eventually I will get a picture of her with a bus ... or at least a picture of the back of a bus that contains my first born!

Edit to add:

Inflexible

Our lives have been shifted dramatically in the new year. I began on January 1 with a day of physical labor -- cleaning and preparing our house for a house sitter as we have moved 1200 miles away for a sabbatical season. We will be gone for six months, and I was packing and sorting and putting away -- laundry, scrubbing, vacuuming, washing, panicking. I haven't worked so hard in a long time.

Then we left the next morning, and my legs and entire body felt the ache of the previous day's efforts. We drove two long, hard days in the bitter cold. It was about 20 degrees when we left Baton Rouge and it got progressively colder as we traveled north. Only today has the temp gone above freezing, almost a week later. (Incidentally the weather has been fine and clear throughout, and it's going to get snowy later this week ... not sure how we'll fare driving in that, but time will tell and we'll be extra careful/stay in mostly.)

My biggest concern hasn't been the packing or even the effort of cleaning -- it was today, taking Jane to a new school for the first time, leaving her in the care of new people, people I'd never met, and in a building with no one I know. (Her school at home has a great church friend as a 5th grade teacher and other children we know, plus I'd been able to meet her teachers and see the classroom first.)

When we got to the school, however, we were told she couldn't start today and would have to wait until tomorrow at the earliest. In the end this is a better thing for everyone. It will give the teacher some time to prepare (not much but some), and it was one more day of winter break for our girls.

But we've known we'll be here, living in this apartment, for months. Why it couldn't have been done in advance I don't know. We had to go through a district placement office, and apparently that MUST be done in person, which Shawn was able to do Thursday, the day after we arrived.

I did not react well in the school office when they rebuffed us. The guy looked at us like we were crazy (which I agree, it's a crazy proposition, but it's what the placement office had led us to believe would happen, so we had prepared Jane). She was SO mad. It was awful and uncomfortable, while we sat in the room and Shawn filled out even more (duplicative) paperwork. Jane felt inflexible, and I felt the same.

After some time to process it, and an impromptu discussion with the principal who asked about Jane as a person and student to help her decide which of the two classes she might fit into best, I felt better and thought it would be fine to wait a day (or longer). Jane has already been in Kindergarten for 70+ days, and she'll have many more left because this school system started a month or more later than back home, meaning Jane will continue another month of school long after her Kindergarten friends back home will be on vacation (meaning her summer 2018 break is going to be a month shorter!).

But I'm embarrassed by how frustrated I became and how that frustration and aggravation were visibly apparent to everyone. I hate how Jane reacted, and I didn't handle her disappointment well since I was poorly managing my own irritation and disappointment.

I have to learn to be more flexible, but I'm not sure how. I am having plenty of opportunities to practice (and fail)!

Teacher Gift: Crochet Coffee Cozies

I made two coffee cozies for Jane's teachers at school. Originally I was going to give bigger Target gift cards, but then the room mom asked for donations for a big group gift card, so I put that money toward that and whipped up these to give with smaller CC's Coffee gift cards. I slipped them into cardboard CC's coffee sleeves and added "Thanks a Latte" (I love a good pun, and that's a good one, right?)

The snowflake cozy is the same style as the sister squad hats I just made -- front post double crochet. So it's super thick and plushy. It took me FOREVER to get the snowflake pattern right because I kept screwing up. This was done with a graph I found online for a simple snowflake, so basically a new pattern. Once I got the hang of it and switching colors it went OK. I love the look of it.

The star cozy is a quick pattern from I'm Frayed Not that makes a very stretchy cozy. I added the crab stitch/reverse single crochet in white at the top and bottom to lend a Christmassy look. The star was a One Dog Woof ornament pattern that I did very fast this morning to sew on -- next to the snowflake one a plain red cozy didn't look special enough.

With an empty coffee cup that I used to be sure the sleeves could go on and off easily (imagining the cups full and hot!).

Sister Squad Hats

Crocheted hats using the same pattern as these. Free pattern from My Hobby is Crochet.

Playing "puppies" while wearing their new hats

New mug from Target -- don't need it. Wanted it. Bought it. (Should save it for my stocking...)

Out of Place

We've lost a library book. I am about 75% sure that I returned it to the library, but they can't find it. And I can't find it anywhere in the house. It's a big book, so not one that could slip inside another one (we check out tiny paperbacks sometimes that I fear will get lost that way). This is the third time this has happened, and every other time it's been on the shelf at the library. Not this time (so far). The search continues. It's Jane's card so no late fees, but I could just renew it I guess and do that indefinitely? I don't know. Aggravating. I can always throw money at the problem and just pay for the book. It may come to that. Need to do the sweep a few more times though.

Something even more aggravating is the fact that Jane was left out of a Kindergarten-wide girl party. All the girls in her grade were invited to a cookie swap or cookie decorating party. Two girls were left off, supposedly accidentally, and Jane is one of them. It's apparently a tradition and each grade does a separate girl-boy party around Christmas.

The organizing mom, a woman I've felt the side eye from (and given to), said they sent home invites in their backpacks (nope) -- and suggested Jane threw it away (double nope) and that they emailed everyone, but they may not have had my address since teachers won't give out full class list emails. NOPE, as I've emailed this mom directly, inviting her kid to Jane's birthday party (to which she didn't respond -- and I sent TWO invitations in hard copy, since I had to change things at the last minute) AND I've met this mom a couple times -- once saw her in the orthopedic center and we spoke to each other. She knows Jane and we're in her actual class, so this feels like more than an "accidental" oversight.

BUT I'm sure it was. We're not thought of any more than a speck of dust to these people. At least it feels that way. Certainly feel out of place, although Jane holds her own with her classmates, is loved by her teachers.

I am fuming STILL, 24 hours later. Only found out about it because of Facebook, and I've lost too much sleep about it.

That Old Habit?

The world is burning, and the tax bill is going to break us all. (Handwritten edits?! In a 500 page PDF?! To be voted on in mere hours?!)

But here are some things:

 

Jane's Kindergarten class has a Christmas tree. I'm surprised they used that verbiage, but that's what it's called. They asked every family to make an ornament to hang on it -- something that represents the family and their traditions. I thought and came up with this -- our hands creating a tree that Jane could draw on and add stickers to show things that are our Christmas traditions. Originally I thought of hobbies too -- like a skein of yarn picture from one of my yarn catalogs, some woodworking contraption from one of Shawn's catalogues, etc. But Jane didn't want to wait to take it in and wasn't really interested in that either. She didn't want photos of us (I was thinking small, as if they were ornaments on the tree), so this is it. There are books because we do the Advent book-a-day tradition, plus a candle, Baby Jesus, an angel, etc. I'm not sure what all Jane drew. The ornament is big, since our hands are real-size, and I figured TOO big -- I had to send it in her backpack in three folders put together with binder clips so it wouldn't get banged up too badly. Jane said the teacher said it was perfect, so I guess the tree is big enough to hold it.

My question -- what if a family doesn't celebrate Christmas? 

I never got my free Starbucks birthday drink that I normally get via the app. Perhaps it's because I do this with the stars that come off the bags of coffee I buy instead of inputting them in the Starbucks system? CURSES!

A completed crochet doll dress, front and back. It's not exactly like the pattern, which I got from a book. I had to make up my own top using the suggested stitch. I followed the top's pattern but got this weird almost E-shaped piece and the next direction was "sew shoulder seams" without an explanation as to what the seams were. Maybe I am a visual learner, because a picture could have really helped. Instead I just started my own top right into the skirt part. It worked out fine, although could have been better fitted. I didn't do great on the starting chains, so put a Christmas ribbon around her waist for the pictures. If we can find a solid purple ribbon to sew onto it that would be good. The buttons were $2 from Walmart, but otherwise the cost was nil. I used Gran's thread, which is why the colors are kind of weird. The original pattern had three sets of four ruffles in the skirt in shades of blue, but the designer crochets tighter than me, because it would have made my skirt too long. I could have stopped at the dark purple, but didn't realize it until after I'd done the pink. Oh well. It's fine as it is. I should take better pictures for my Ravelry page. These were fast on my phone because Liv was on the move. She's been a terror -- broken three or four Christmas things, and we haven't even had the Xmas stuff out for a week yet!

Fin

Perhaps my final NaBloPoMo post ever. This month has been exceedingly difficult. I'm not getting much pleasure out of anything right now, so why should blogging be any different?

I have a few crochet projects to get on -- one is almost finished -- so those will be upcoming posts. Our family is taking a pretty big adventure in January, but I'm not sure if I'll write about it in real time or after it's over. Something to consider.

Enjoy your December.

Recent Thoughts - A Hodgepodge

I've subscribed to the Lenny Letter since its inception. I'm older than the target audience, but there are some good reads, and I like everything is by women and for women. Not a huge Lena Dunham fan, and she keeps having missteps with the media and just being plain wrong about things. This week I read this article Women Are Supposed to Give Until They Die. The author talks about how we're taught to believe men need more alone time than women (fathers vs. mothers is really what she's getting at). I found it pretty weird, as a woman, as a mom and someone who needs more alone time. But I also really identify with her points about getting and taking that alone time away from home and allowing the relationship between dad and kids to develop without mom/my interference.

I check Facebook WAY too often -- just as a default I'm bored, or I have five minutes or let's see what people are posting. (I also look at Twitter, and it mainly serves to make me really mad about what's happening in the world and hate all the people I follow on Facebook -- so that's a fun twist?) Anyway, on Facebook I keep typing and deleting "funny" comments. Just personable stuff. For example, a friend posted on another friend's question about Santa/stockings about what she puts in her kid's stockings. And she listed chocolate as a "necessity" -- like "I put necessities: toothpaste, socks, chocolate, etc." And I laughed and commented how funny that was. Then I deleted it instead of posting. The world is on fire, and why do I need to be funny or relational with people?

On that same post I have opinions of my own -- like we don't "do" Santa at all ... which reminds me I really need to tell Jane's teacher about that, although Jane says she wants to pretend he's real and won't say anything to the other kids at all ... and I have tried the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" thing that was the original poster's main question. But in the same vein, who cares what I think? (Those two links are old blog posts where I write about that exact thing, so it's clear I think *someone* cares ... just not people who actually know me?!) I am the weirdest, I know.

I do a lot of computing on my Kindle -- reading Facebook, Twitter, Feedly, etc. I haven't been reading books as much lately, but that's another story. One thing that's driving me crazy if the Kindle keyboard. I have a Fire HDX 8, which I got for Christmas last year, so it's a 2016 model. The keyboard works fine EXCEPT when I put "t" it will often, like 9 times out of 10, switch to the numeral keyboard, so it types a 5 and then if I just keep touching letters it actually puts the numbers. AND it isn't smart enough to figure out "oh, she's touching keys that would make a word if they were letters" and I have to backspace, carefully hit the t and re-type everything. I've searched some and haven't found anyone else with this problem. So I don't know what to do about it. I looked at the Love My Fire site a bit, but it didn't really talk about that.

I cleaned my engagement ring this week. It was SO gross. It needs a professional cleaning, but even my at home efforts made a huge difference and it's sparkling again. There was so much gunk, oil and dirt underneath the stone I had to pick it out with a toothpick after I let the ring soak in warm, soapy water. I'm not a vain person, but seeing the shiny rock on my finger is a nice boost and makes me happy in a stupid, simple way.

THE WORLD IS BURNING.

Cast AWAY

I took Jane to the doctor this morning, and her cast was taken off. Everything looks good for her bone healing, and the doctor showed me the X-ray and all the places where her body has made new bone. It seems like a lot and is doing well.

She has a brace/splint type thing to wear and give her some security as she gets used to having the cast off. Her wrist is very stiff and she doesn't want to move it or really act like she can use her arm. She was more active with it when the cast was on!

We have a few exercises to do, and he said she will also just figure it out and get back to normal. The brace will be for about 4 more weeks, although she doesn't have to wear it all the time after this first week. I'm sure she'll be back to her old be-bopping self in no time.

One drag thing is that her skin was all irritated and kind of dirty. I'd assumed water proof cast meant it could get wet. We NEVER dipped it in water -- just didn't cover it up when she took a bath and the hand would get wet when she washed. They said we didn't let it drip dry enough, although I'm not sure what that means or how you do that other than let the thing hang out. I didn't press it. Should have stuck with the keep-it-dry method, as her skin was fine after the first cast was taken off to change to this one. I'm hoping some air and a little lotion will get it all back to normal. Poor bubs.