Thanksgiving Prep

Last year I wrote detailed posts about my Thanksgiving menu and the cooking/prep process. Today has been a busy day with prep and cooking. I didn't take any pictures of the food. The menu is basically the same, although I'm not making the broccoli salad (it's never been as good as it was the first year I made it), and I'm giving up on homemade rolls. They're amazing, but store-bought brown-n-serve will be just fine too.

I'm tired. Was on my feet a lot. Last year I was pregnant and had been diagnosed with gestational diabetes for about a month while I was doing the Thanksgiving cooking. I was on my feet and busy all morning. I'd had my snack but I still felt weird. That's the only scary episode I had during the pregnancy, and I kind of blacked out -- not fully but everything went black/I lost vision while I stumbled to the table and sat down. I couldn't stop laughing after I recovered. But it scared Shawn. I was very pale too. Nothing like that happened today, of course. I'm healthy-ish.

I am not in a cheery, holiday mood. I don't know how I'm going to celebrate Christmas. It's not going to be the same. I am looking forward to Advent -- sitting in the dark, waiting for the light. And I hope and pray the the miracle comes to me again anew. At the very least I'll be going through the motions for my girls -- Jane's sixth Christmas season and Livia's first. My precious baby girls.

There's something to be learned here, even though I would give almost anything to not be learning it.