Boring my Toddler

I've been feeling less-than-great at parenting this week, especially after our go-go-go week while Shawn was gone last week.

I am bored, but she is bored too.

I absentmindedly searched for "boring toddler" on Google the other day.

Sad stories came up in the search results about a toddler who died in a tractor accident in Boring, Oregon.

Way to put my whiny boringness and boredom into perspective.

Still I persist in being bothered by my own boredom and worries about not being "enough" for Jane.

Full-time mama life is hard, but it isn't that hard. It seems like it's getting harder as Jane wants to play more, and I'm finding I'm not such a good player. I can read books, but even that I get tired of. I'm not as good as Shawn at imaginative play with her cars or dollhouse. Shawn comes up with really funny scenarios that make us all laugh.

I've also picked up a bit of freelance work that's made me juggle -- and feel completely out of myself stressed when I have something to do work related but am involved with a Jane task, even a fun one.

All of this brings my inadequacies (and insecurities) into stark relief.

I know that this lull in activity is temporary. We have big travel plans coming up, and once the summer gets in swing we'll have regular activities to do -- a water exploration class, library story times and moms group activities.

But I'm still on edge...